Tag I'm it (A Snowflake on Ice Vignette)
by dhalpin3
Summary: Have been doing some X-23 reading lately (Graphic novels were on sale in the discount bin, 3). Interesting variation of a rather repeated theme. Then I got to thinking about the story line where Laura is dealing with a demon pursuing her in her dreams on Utopia and her ongoing concerns about being human and having a soul. Chap 6 is comedy.
1. Chapter 1

**Tag I'm It (A Snowflake on Ice Vignette)**

Author's note: Have been doing some X-23 reading lately (Graphic novels were on sale in the discount bin, $3). Interesting variation of a rather repeated theme. Then I got to thinking about the story line where Laura is dealing with a demon pursuing her in her dreams on Utopia and her ongoing concerns about being human and having a soul.

This clicked on a little Snowflake on Ice vignette I had been toying with writing. Turned out to be longer story then the usual vignette so I wrote it as a separate document.

 **Part 1: Musings of games past**

Illyana was done doing one of her workouts in her cell.

For the last two hours she had done various exercises, jogged in place, and had danced to various songs; not that she had much room to dance. She was currently sitting on her bunk mediating, and wishing for a hot shower (hmmm shower); moist towelets so just did not cut it.

It went without saying that she was bored . Bored, bored, bored. Meditation was just not working for her at the moment. She found her mind dwelling on activities she missed.

Scaring the ninjas, now that was fun. So easy to startle.

Watching the stars. She missed the night sky.

Dancing for hours on end. Momentarily forgetting, or at least pretending to forget.

A good game of tag.

Yea, she kind of missed the games of tag. Those had been fun.

 **Part 2: A pair of night owls**

Laura didn't like Illyana.

No great mystery as to why.

First there had been the trauma the X-Kidletts had suffered in Limbo when Belasco had pulled them all in. Laura had not particularly enjoyed being killed, impaled, and otherwise abused.

Then of course Illyana had abused Megan and Anole, not to mention the others.

Lastly it would be an understatement that Illyana tended to rub many people the wrong way.

It had begun one late night in Utopia. Laura tended to be a night owl and liked to prowl about. This inevitability brought her into contact with Illyana, another night owl. Once or twice Illyana had tried that let's startle the ninjas game she liked to play but didn't find any real satisfaction with Laura. Laura, like Logan, used all of her senses to assess her surroundings so Illyana never managed to startle her.

It was way past most night owls bedtimes, when Laura found Illyana relaxing in one of the small lounges. She was in a leather chair looking east towards the golden gate. Laura could smell the sharp ting of tea (Russian) and Illyana's soft drowsily emanations.

Illyana's prior attempts to startle Laura had annoyed her. Time for a little payback.

Laura crept up behind Illyana as only Laura knew how. Well... ok more than a few folks at Utopia could have crept up just as good but that's beside the point. This is a story about Laura, not Wolverine, Betty, Warpath, or any other fighting skill mutant.

She had oh so slowly unsheathed one blade on each hand, then had stabbed the back of the chair with both hands Her intent was that the blades pass on either side of Illyana's head. Well that was her intent. What she did end up stabbing was an empty chair as she smelled Illyana's scent abruptly vanish just as she stabbed.

Then as she pulled her hands back from the chair she sensed a small object being hurled at her from behind her. She slashed backwards to find that she had now cut a small ball in two. Laura sniffed, no sign of Illyana. She picked up the two halves of the ball. It was one of those foam stress balls you squeeze, but this one had a cartoon of Illyana's head on it with big grinning teeth and two fingers held up in a V symbol. It was one of those little Asian caricature drawings that are so populate in the Japanese and Korean communities.

Suddenly Laura smelled Illyana's scent, scented with the sharp tones of disdain, dismissal, and... mischief, just as another ball lightly bounced off of Laura's head.

 _"Tag you're it"._ Was all that Illyana said before she vanished again.

 **Part 2: A game of tag**

That was how the nightly games developed.

Laura would stalk Illyana and try to locate her. Illyana would inevitably vanish just at the moment of contact denying Laura the ability to cry tag. Just as inevitably a ball would come sailing of nowhere to bounce off of Laura while Illyana's scent lingering on the air with the whiff of mockery. Illyana's face on the ball was now sporting a word balloon (Tag you're (still) it).

Laura found it... frustrating. She also found it rather fun in the way a cat likes the bird that keeps getting away. Makes you just try harder the next time.

One night Laura located Illyana lying down on a roof on one of the high cylinder shaped towers that were in the center of Utopia. Illyana was apparently star watching. Laura wasn't quite sure how to approach from such a disadvantaged point, then she smelled the tea, Russian tea again.

Laura noticed that it was in a tea urn this time and there were two cups. Illyana was lying down on a towel on the roof. There was a second empty towel next to her. Laura recognized that this was some form of an invitation.

Social interaction was always somewhat of a quandary for Laura, but this did not look that complex. She accepted in that she walked over and sat down on the towel and poured herself a cup of tea. Illyana said nothing, just occasionally sipped some tea and watched the stars. It was an odd little interaction, not a word said, but Illyana's scent no longer held distain and mockery. Mischief was still there, along with some other faint emotions Laura could not identify.

 **Part 3: An odd form of ?friendship?**

The nightly games of tag continued off and on each week. The little time outs as it were also continued. As yet not a single word had been spoken. Laura found it odd to think of herself as the verbal one, but she was the first to say anything.

It was star watching again, this time with a full moon as well, while a fog bank slowly obscured half of the sky. Instead of tea there was a strawberry ice cream container and two bowls.

 _"Why do you never say anything?"_ Laura had asked out after eating a scoop.

She smelled the faint smell of amusement and... something else she could still not name. _"Aren't people always talking_ _at_ _you all the time?"_ was Illyana's reply.

 _"Yes"_ was Laura's reply.

 _"Same with me. Thought it would be nice to have some quiet for once"._

 _"You are very odd"_ was Laura's direct statement. Again the smell of amusement, stronger this time.

 _"Yep"_ was Illyana's response as she also ate some ice cream.

 **Part 4: Tag**

Enhanced senses always made social interactions both difficult and far more revealing then the other party intended. Laura could have a detailed conversation, as it were, sometimes with Logan without ever speaking a word. All just body language and scent.

Laura found her interactions with Illyana, while not as detailed as Logan, and Illyana never showed any real ability to scent emotions, to be in a similar category.

The game of tag had evolved into occasional hand to hand combat. Laura would strike and pounce. Illyana would dodge and teleport. Yet still that annoying ball would bounce off of Laura's head (tag you're (still) it).

Once after a rather intense set of hand to hand training Laura had made an offhand comment about two soulless ones fighting.

Illyana had not reacted well to the comment. Her smell had been harsh, angry.

 _"The endless blather mortals have about their possession or non possession of a soul is tiresome to those truly lacking one. Must I steal it from you and wave it in front of your face"?_

Laura found the comment annoying. She had been trying to connect and now felt rebuffed. Laura's demonish dreams had been getting worse. Laura had actual started sleeping outside due to her concerns on how she might react while sleeping. She had felt like Illyana might have been someone she might actually be able to talk to about them (after all, was she not a demon herself).

 _"I fear I lack one, why does that offend you so"?_

 _"Because everybody on this island has one. Oh so bright and shiny. Each and every one taunting me every day. Even the ones that are as stained as yours"._

Again somehow that ball bounced off of Laura's head, Illyana then made that little hand waving sign, that one that says come at me. Again the hand to hand combat of pounce and dodge.

Maybe it happened because Laura was upset, maybe it was because Illyana was upset. The game had always involved Laura's claws. Illyana had become one of the few people that Laura would practice with claws extended. Laura stabbed with her right hand and Illyana did not teleport it time.

Illyana collapsed like a sack of wet sand. Laura knew exactly where her blades had gone. Right blade thought the heart, left blade right thought the spine. A killing and disabling strike.

Illyana coughed up a bloody bubble, whispered a few words and was still. Laura heard her heart stop.

 _"Tag I'm it"._ Those were the words.

Laura froze. She had killed oh so many times, sometimes those she had cared about. But this had been so sudden.

There was a flash of light and Illyana was gone. Than Laura felt a hand on her right shoulder and smelled Illyana behind her.

 _"Nice move there. I got sloppy, slow. Sorry about that"._

Laura spun and stared at Illyana. She was unhurt but her uniform was bloody, right where she had been stabbed.

 _"You're unhurt"_ was Laura's questioning statement.

 _"Takes more then that to kill a hell lord, or the various hells would be really empty"._

 _"Magic"_ was Laura's conclusion.

 _"Magik"_ Illyana agreed.

 _"I like you Laura. You're sweet"._ Literally the first time anybody had ever said that to Laura.

 _"I am not sweet"._

Illyana just smiled. _"Laura remember one thing"._

 _"What"._

 _"You've just met the first person who would trade lives with you in an instant"._

With that Illyana vanished leaving Laura to ponder Illyana's words and the source of those words.

 **Part 5: Ruminations**

Yes, the games of tag had been fun.

Plus, it had allowed her to deal with that oh so annoying demon who had had the gall to actually sniff around her home and think that he could pouch Laura without Illyana noticing.

Illyana had been playing a long and subtle game that had resulted in the destruction of the elder gods and the reclaiming of her soul. She had had to refrain from just squashing the demon due to her larger game.

But the similarities of Laura's experiences with Illyana's had been a bit too noticeable for Illyana to ignore. She had decided to play a second game about souls with Laura, one that would help plant the subconscious belief that Laura really did have one (after all she did, mortals oh so easily fooled themselves into thinking they did not). The little blood ritual had sealed it, although there had been a bit more blood then Illyana had planned (shards that girl is fast).

Hmm, after she got out of this cell she needed to pay a certain demon a brief visit to... talk. Well, not much talking on her part was planned. Needed to remind the infernal community about staying clear and examples worked oh so nice. Lethal examples.

But she really did miss those games of tag.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tag I'm It (A Snowflake on Ice Vignette)**

Author's note: Hmm, I thought I was done with this story line, then deathgundam006 posted a review asking that I continue. Took me over a month before I realized he/she had posted a review (so few of you comment, hint hint, hope this lays a guilt trip on you). This stymied me for a few days, then I came up with more to say. So... it pays to comment if you like the story! Who knows what might result.

 **Part 2a: Navel gazing in confinement**

It was post Schism. The tribe of mutants had split up. One group remaining with Scott at Utopia, the other decamped with Wolverine back to the old mutant stomping grounds, now renamed the JGS (Jean Grey School). Guess nobody really liked Xavier any more, gee I can't imagine why

Illyana had toyed with the idea of choosing to leave, not that they really would have let her go. Likely just a childish impulse to stir things up, heck would likely have resulted in a significant portion of the JGS decamping back to Utopia just to get away from her. But the JGS did not really have sufficient conferment facilities, I mean we're not talking a simple case of detention here. In Illyana's darker moods she had to admit to herself that Utopia didn't really possess the facilities either, but no need to share that with anybody.

But... no. She believed Scott and Emma had the better course. She was too old to be a student and there wasn't a chance in hell they'd let her be an instructor. Let's see... Torture 101, Basics of betraying, How to bring out your inner demon in 12 easy steps, Fundamentals of hurting everybody and everything, and Ethical choices in today's world. Ohhh, I know, field trip coordinator, ha ah. Nope, not a chance. She had a better chance of becoming a Phoenix host then becoming an instructor for mutant students.

And it would have been cruel to Kitty and that as not something she wished to do or be. With Peter becoming the Juggernaut Kitty wanted nothing to do with her and Illyana truly understood why. She had... misjudged the situation, had not know all the details; shards she wished she'd know that the two of them had been back together.

At least being in this blasted cell did give her some time to slightly correct a few of her own educational deficiencies. History and literature were nice. Math was right out as she'd always needed Kitty to tutor her anyway. General science was ok for a few hours a week, but, for some funny reason, computer programming coursers were forbidden. Like she was really going to be able to program her way out of here for crying out loud.

Illyana was mediating and day dreaming about a favorite topic, showers. Oh did she ever want a shower, when Danger announced over the speaker system that she had an unscheduled visitor. At the same time the food compartment opened showing a bowel of strawberry ice-cream and some hot Russian tea.

Illyana had a slightly puzzled expression for a few seconds, then a big smile bloomed on her face as the door opened. It was Laura, with her usual neutral expression, holding her own tray of ice cream and tea.

 **Part 2b: Post visitation assessment**

The Scene: Dr Nemesis, Danger, Dr. Kavita Rao, and Madison Jefferies (The X-Club science team) are all virtually meeting, think of a swarm of computer monitors in a black void, each monitor showing the face of a participant, while additional monitors scroll information. Emma and Scott are participants as well.

 _"Well that was big waste of time and effort to monitor"_ Gripped Dr Nemesis. _"Apart from a few words all they did was sit on the floor and stare at each other while drinking tea and eating ice cream"._

 _"Partially disagree"_ Injected Dr. Kavita Rao, _"They also had various facial expressions, almost as if there was some kind of conversation going on"._

 _"Which we picked up no verbal or telepathic evidence of. I believe you or the Cuckoos were monitoring Miss Frost"._ Stated Danger.

Emma replied. _"Ye, the girls and I lightly monitored. Nothing was exchanged mind to kind, and the telepathy dampers were on the whole time in Illyana's cell"._

Dr. Kavita Rao made an important point. _"This behavior has been seen before with X-23 and Wolverine. It has been noted before that the two of them are able to apparently have rather significant non verbal conversations via just scent and body language"._

Madison Jefferies actually piped up for once. " _The pheromone sensors did show that Miss Rasputin continues to emit various compounds that are not human baseline. The closest analogy we have is actually wolf, similar to some of the scents that are in our data files come from Rahne Sinclair, A.K.A Wolfsbane"._

Dr Nemesis started to gave a summary assessment, _"As the X-Club has noted before, Miss Rasputin shows an interesting, and to date, not understood, ability to frankly smell nonhuman at times. We believe this is tied to her demonic physical nature. Her cell is not completely air tight so X-23 was likely able to sniff her out as it were. We believe that..."._

Scott injected. _"Laura, please call her Laura from now on. This isn't a mission"._

Dr Nemesis glared briefly at Scott for interrupting, and then continued. _"We believe that Miss Rasputin's prior stated ability to read aura's allowed her to respond to sub verbal emotional states and body language from... Laura. This in turn allowed Laura to comprehend Miss Rasputin's reactionary emotional state and body language due to residue air leakage from her cell"._

Dr. Kavita Rao finished the conclusion. _"But we have no idea what they said to each other"._

Scott rubbed his eyes. _"Did anybody bother to just try asking either of them"?_

Glances were exchanged. _"Um... no"_ answered Dr. Kavita Rao. " _We were trying to assess the conversation via scientific means only. You were the one who acquiesced to Laura's request to both meet with Miss Rasputin and to provide the refreshments as it were. Did she tell you why"?_

Scott replied. _"No other then that she has unfinished business with Illyana. She wanted to visit Illyana where we had caged her"._

 _"Involuntary confinement, it's not a cage as such"._ Replied Danger.

Scott continued _. "Her choice of words. Considering Laura's history I think cage would be how she'd view it"._

 **Part 2c: Request is made**

Laura was visiting Megan (A.K.A Pixie) in Utopia. It was Megan's idea. Megan had used her teleportation spell to travel to JGS to pick up Laura and her other friends that had left Utopia. They were having a little get together in Utopia, not quite a class reunion but a little party. Scott and Wolverine looked the other way and pretended that such activities did not exist.

After a few hours Laura had wandered off for some alone time. Crowds always got her edgy after a while, and talk talk talk. Everybody always talking. Reminded her of how much she enjoyed quite times with Logan and... now that she thought about it, Illyana.

She had spent more the a little time musing over the time she had tagged Illyana as it were. That and other things. Illyana hadn't even sounded annoyed at getting stabbed to death, like she had been expecting to be stabbed but that the strike had dug deeper then she had planned for. Yet she had ported away and instantly returned healed. Laura had to conclude that Illyana had not only been expecting the strike but had prepared for it.

She made an impromptu request of Scott and Emma, who after some thought agreed to the request. After all, they owed Laura for some services rendered and this really was a minor request. Laura agreed to the mandatory monitoring that accompanied any Illyana visit, not that Illyana was not being continually monitored, it was just the disclosure of the monitoring was needed so folks did not have any illusions of privacy.

 **Part 2d: Visitation**

Laura walked into the cell block after receiving the final instructions from Danger. She was carry the tray of food provided for her, strawberry ice cream and Russian black tea.

Laura saw that Illyana was sitting on her cot, she was in a cross-legged position that she was currently unfurling from; Laura supposed that Illyana had been meditating.

Illyana's appearance was different. Her bangs were gone and her hair was somewhat unkempt and had an oily smell. So was her person. Laura could tell that Illyana had not bathed in quite some time and that moist towelettes were her source of hygiene. The most striking feature was the grey full body suit and the integrated bomb jacket.

She knew Illyana had been caged, but this brought back unpleasant remembrances of her own past.

Illyana had a big grin of welcome and the smell of greetings. Laura walked in and sat down on the floor close to the glass wall (she had permission to approach closer then most visitors were allowed). Illyana got off of her cot, retrieved her ice cream and tea from the food compartment (both in disposable plastic containers) and sat down on the floor of her cell, facing Laura.

Laura:

Body language: Eyebrows and mouth frowned in concern.

Aura: Showed concern. Help needed?

Illyana:

Body language: Smile that reaches the eyes.

Scent: Calm. Safe, home but... not home. Endure.

They each took a sip of tea and than eat some ice cream.

Laura:

Body language: Shoulders lowered, mild submissive.

Aura: Gratitude. Thanks. Kindness shown.

Illyana:

Body language: Eyebrows slightly raised, slight negation of submissive act in posture.

Scent: Pack, you/we/all are pack. Expected. Needed.

The tea was now gone and half of the ice cream consumed.

Laura:

Body language: Acceptance, stance of an equal

Aura: Owe you.

Illyana:

Body language: Relaxed. Acceptance of equal.

Scent: Acceptance. Gratitude for pack acknowledgement of self.

Laura:

Body language: Slight tensing, tilted head an a questioning look

Aura: Want?

Illyana:

Body language: Sigh. Eyes slightly downcast. Hands open and fingers upwards

Scent: Sky longing.

Illyana:

Body language: Nose crinkled, slight sniff.

Scent: I smell. Bath so want.

Laura:

Body language: Sad half smile. Minor hand waving across face.

Aura: Minor amusement and sad agreement.

Laura:

Body language: Surprised expression, looking down at her hand as if it held something, then just one finger raised.

Aura: Startled, got me.

Illyana:

Body language: Slight laugh and a sly look

Scent: Surprise. Hid well.

The ice cream was now all gone. Laura laid down and stared at the ceiling. Illyana looked at her for a few moments then an expression of understanding crossed her face and she lay down as well and also looked up. It was if they were sky watching.

Laura:

Body language: Content. Quiet and still.

Aura: Good times.

Illyana:

Body language: Peaceful.

Scent: Better times then now.

After a while Laura got up, and so did Illyana. They stared at each other for a brief while and then Laura did a half smile and waved her hand in departure. Illyana did likewise.

Laura:

Body language: Casual. Comfortable.

Aura: Friendly and sad at parting.

Illyana:

Body language: Resigned, shoulders slightly lowered.

Scent: Sad but resigned.

Laura turned to go but spoke a sentence as she left. _"You did startle me once, just once"._

Illyana chuckled at the departing Laura. _"Thanks. Never knew that"._

And that was that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Tag I'm It (A Snowflake on Ice Vignette)**

Author's note: Takes place before All New X-men 25.

 **Part 3: Angst expressions**

A long time had passed since Illyana and Laura had last interacted. Laura had left Utopia for the new JGS during the Schism. She had not really had any interactions with the Phoenix five or with the now ex-Phoenix 5 after the whole Phoenix fiasco had ended. Then... she'd had her own issues to deal (as told in Avengers Arena).

Laura was standing in the snow, in a small clearing, and slicing a granite outcropping into little bits. She was wearing her new fancy getup, it was in the same style as the other (?original/young/new so confusing?) X-men. Apparently Illyana had not only generated new costumes for the group, she'd filled several closets with spares as well, nifty trick that.

Why cutting and chopping up granite? Well, using trees as targets would have quickly deforested the local area. Granite took more work than wood as well. Consider it a combined workout and a therapy session Laura style, although killing something appropriate would be nice too.

Laura had been gnawing on the rock as it were for the past hour. The exercise, and the insulation of her costume, was keeping her reasonably warm in the cold snowy wilderness. She was about a mile from the new X-Base, the converted Weapon X facility that Scott and his crew had appropriated and refurbished.

Laura heard the foot steps crunching their way through the snow, that and the scent of her.

Illyana walked out from between the trees and came to a halt roughly 30 feet away from Laura (there were a lot of stone chips being flung about, best not to get too close). Illyana was dressed in her usual black top and short shorts, black gloves and high boots. Plus that weird black spiky armor thingie she had on her left shoulder.

Illyana opened the conversation with her usual verbosity. That and the smell of greetings, affection, and slight amusement at seeing the rocky debris scattered about.

 _"Hey"._

Laura paused in her demolition expressions and took a breather. She was equally verbose but not very welcoming. Her aura indicated a desire for privacy.

 _"Hey"._

Illyana sat down on an icy stone and just stared at Laura. Which in a way was funny. Looking and not talking just violated so many social taboos. Laura often did that to others and it always unnerved folks, not that she usually meant to; if you don't have anything to say then why clutter up the sound waves. Just a reminder that Illyana connected with Laura on many levels.

Laura took no offense and went back to her routine of stab and chop and cut. After a ten more minutes of rock slicing and stabbing Laura decided to make a conversational observation as Illyana did not appear to be taking the hint that she rather wanted to be alone. No point telling her such as she had to know.

 _"Do you not get cold"?_

After all, Illyana was showing a lot of skin and sitting on an icy rock in short shorts. She should have been literally freezing her ass off, but... not a shiver.

Illyana replied verbally and with a scent of dismissal. _"No. Haven't really felt the cold since... I lived in a frozen hell for a year. Heck, I was wearing less then than I am now. Sometimes I pretend to get cold, helps put people at ease"._

Pretend. Laura understood pretend.

Laura eyed Illyana. _"Pretend... you're not pretending now"._ And frankly had not been pretending very much. She had overhead the Australian, Eva Bell, talking to Celeste as to why Illyana even bothered to put on cold weather gear when it did not appear to matter.

Illyana did a half of bitter self amusement.

 _"No, mostly don't pretend around Logan or you for that matter. Your senses would be able to tell. But pretending sometimes makes people... not notice how different I am"._

 _"How do you do it, not get cold that is"?_

Illyana briefly frowned then answered. Smell of regret, of paths taken.

 _"I... changed myself. There was no food, no shelter, not much of anything. All I had was Oak. I... subsisted on stolen energy from Oak. I made adjustments to myself, which in hindsight was all part of their plan, that I do it to myself. Adjustments that turned out to be precursors to changes that I couldn't undo. Let's just summarize that I'm really not human or mortal and leave it at that"._

Laura sliced off another chunk of granite. _"You've different. Your body language, your scent, the sense of you. It's all changed. You... you feel"._

Illyana sighed. Smell of both contentment and fear. _"Forceful soul reintegration I suspect from when Dormmanu attempted to... end me. I am... more then I was before"._

Laura extended a foot claw and used it to fling large stone shards into the air where she then used her hand claws to turn into smaller shards.

Illyana decided to try a conversational gambit of her of caring inquiry. _"How goes your sessions with Kitty and Emma? Helping any"?_

Laura impaled a shard of rock with a claw and then examined it.

 _"Not really. I am... upset at what happened to me. I will work it out. I... always do. How do your sessions go with Miss Frost"?_

Smell of weary repetition. _"Likely the same yours. Emma still has a private weekly review session with me. She's... concerned that prior traumas will now affect me more. Can't blame her, having a demon lord freaking out is... a bad thing"._

Laura flung her hand up into the air dislodging the rock which she then turned into smaller rocks as it fell. Then asked a question that had been on her mind for quite some time. Illyana was a good person to ask it of because... well she always felt like Laura felt. Damaged yet functioning.

 _"Did you ever wonder if you are insane"?_

Smells of bitterness, of pain, of loss. _"No, until quite recently I wasn't and knew it. I... haven't been sane as it were for a very long time. No, now I wonder if I'm sane"._

Laura stopped making small rocks out of big rocks. _"A harder question I think, for the both of us"._

Illyana reached down and pick up a rock when she then threw gently at Laura who promptly sliced it out of the air. Smell of uncertainty and slight confusion as she replied.

 _"Yes. I reached conclusions and did... things I can no longer comprehend or understand. Things... I regret.. Possible a good sign, possible not"._

Laura flicked a rock at Illyana with her foot. Illyana materialized a thin interpretation of her soul sword and deflected it. Laura asked a question as she did a little combat (come at me) hand wave.

 _"Why the sudden verbosity? I believe we have now exchanged more spoken words then we ever did before"._

Illyana grinned and hefted her sword. Smell of eager anticipation.

 _"Emma's direction. She believes that highly traumatized team members need to talk it out as it were. She's threatening to create a support group and put both of us in it unless I take the initiative to speak privately with you about such topics"._

Laura was... concerned. She began to circle around Illyana who in turn began to stalk Laura. _"And in such a... group I'd be expected to... share my feelings"?_

 _"Uh-hu"_ Illyana replied as she attempted a stab with her sword. As Laura blocked it she realized it was a sham attack, the real strike was Illyana's foot as she braced herself and kicked. Laura dodged, but that meant breaking contact with the sword which then swung round making Laura back off.

 _"I would not enjoy that"_ Laura dispassionately stated as she advanced on Illyana, unleashing a series of blows that drove her back. The ground glowed beneath Illyana and she vanished. Laura raised her claws just in time to block a strike from behind. She twirled around to confront Illyana.

Scent of agreement. _"Didn't think so. I thought our old games of tag would make more sense, as long as we... shared some of our... pain. That way Emma get's what she wants and..."_

Laura launched an attack that Illyana barely blocked. _"We get what we want"._

Yea, it was a funny kind of friendship they had. But hey, it worked for them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Tag I'm It (A Snowflake on Ice Vignette)**

Author's note: Takes place after All new X-men 29. Always felt there was more to the story as Illyana came back with horns after finding baby Xavier.

 **Part 4: Reflections**

Illyana was sitting on the same icy rock again, at the same spot that Laura had been making her mounds of granite chips a while back. Illyana was dressed in her skimpy field costume (as always). The sky was grey with clouds and a bitterly cold wind was blowing, but it was not yet snowing.

A large amount of the granite chips were now floating in the air. They moved about and from a certain angle, that angle being Illyana's viewpoint, they formed an abstract representation of a head and a face. The face was that of Colossus from the future, her brother, the one who had been happy to see her. The one who had loved the her that is, not an edited version of her or an image from the past.

He was now dead. Had died because she had taken him into the past where Xavier's son had fried his mind.

Laura approached from downwind. The air was filled with the scent of sadness, of loss, of grief. There was also subdued rage and vindictiveness; a sense of malicious cruelty.

Laura announced her presence. Always a good idea not to try to sneak up on Illyana, a startled Illyana sometimes did unexpected things. Laura remembered a story that Dani had told her once when Dani had burst into Illyana's room back when they were kids. No, best not to startle Illyana, especially if she was in one of her moods.

 _"Hey"_

Illyana echoed back the greetings _"Hey"._ She sounded... sad.

Laura walked up and sat down next to Illyana. Damn the stone was cold even through the insulation of her costume. Illyana didn't ever have goose bumps.

Laura asked a simple question. _"What did you do to him"?_

Illyana looked sideways at Laura and frowned in slight annoyance and said just one word. _"Perceptive"._

After a while Illyana continued _._

 _"You and Logan are always way harder to fool than the telepaths. Telepaths are... easy if they can't read your mind and you just put up surface thoughts that they expect to see"._

Laura explained. _"You came back all... DarkChilde like. The horns are a bit of a give away. And you smelled... vindictively satisfied. You barely paid any attention to him afterwards. Like... like he was no longer of any concern. As if he was nothing now"._

Illyana clenched a fist and the shimmering image of rock fragments shifted from the face of the future Peter into the face of Xavier's son.

 _"Sisyphus, I pulled a Sisyphus on him"._

Laura give Illyana a look of non comprehension, like who or what the hell is Sisyphus? Illyana then provided more detail.

 _"Sisyphus was an ancient Greek king. He... annoyed the gods as it were. When he died he went to hell and was condemned to roll a boulder up a hill, only to have it slip and roll back down. His task would only be finished when the rock stay put at the top of the hill. So he was stuck rolling that damn rock for eternity. Always a bad idea to piss off the gods... or hell lords. I did the same to baby Xavier"._

Illyana waved her right hand and the floating rocks shifted from baby Xavier's face into a moebius strip. A moebius strip is a continuous one-sided surface that can be formed from a rectangular strip of paper by rotating one end 180° and attaching it to the other end. This results in a continuous unending line and surface. No beginning, no end.

 _"I adjusted his timeline and altered his mind. Some really nasty magic, Stephan will be... annoyed with me. Now... Now he gets to plot and fail and suffer for all eternity. I'm... upset at what was lost, at what he took from me. Death was too simple. I want him to suffer"._

Laura was impressed.

 _"You are cruel"._ This was said her usual dry and neutral tones, but her aura showed approval and respect.

Illyana had but a simple answer _"Da"._


	5. Chapter 5

**Tag I'm It (A Snowflake on Ice Vignette)**

Author's note: More requests that I continue this story (from drakonpie250). After some thought I came up with another chapter after I read the history of Laura (recent graphic novel). Plus a possible additional chapter based on a suggestion from drakonpie250, still mulling that one over.

It is very important to remember that both Laura and Illyana come from very damaging pasts (Laura's is well known and documented, most of Illyana's has still not been shown in the comics and is partially hypothesized by my writing). Likely they can talk to each other about some things that they really don't like sharing with anybody else; and Emma did tell them to converse or else.

Includes a bit of a dark story I've alluded to in several of my other writings of Illyana and Breakworld. And a few references to the ongoing Pride, Prejudice, Illyana and zombies story; Mother of all darkness, What to do about Magik, and Cat's cradle (rather impressed by how I wiggled in plugs for other stories).

I figure this takes place after Limbo is recreated. Not sure if it is after the Death of X or before; likely does not matter (as that comic has only published its first issue as of this writing). Definitely before Illyana and Laura each ended up with a kid to take care of.

 **Part 5a: Fight to the death**

Laura was hunting. She was crouched down and silently running along a rocky path in a dark underground cavern. She was dressed in her new yellow and black wolverine costume. The cavern was dark but illuminated by scattered flames that came from holes in the ground. The path ran along side a still and inky black pool of still water.

She paused, sniffed the air, then stabbed with her right hand just as a giant tentacle erupted from the water. The tentacle was impaled on her two right hand claws and she then cut the tentacle in two with her left hand's claws.

There was a bubbling in the water as the bleeding remaining length of tentacle was quickly pulled back into the dark waters while the severed length thrashed upon the ground.

Laura paused, and then spun to block a two handed sword stroke, with both sets of her claws, from...

 **Illyana!**

Illyana had appeared behind Laura somehow, it had not been a teleportation disk. Likely some kind of invisibility spell that had also blocked scent and vibrations (one had to be invisible to a bunch of senses to avoid Laura). Illyana was wearing her usual black costume with the short shorts, black top, boots, and the odd black armor on her left arm.

Instead of her usual soul sword, Illyana was equipped with two traditional Japanese curved swords, one long and one short; but she currently was only holding the long sword.

The sword hilts were wrapped in black leather. The pommels had a golden Chrysanthemum engraving at the end of the hilt and there was a flaming dragon engraved upon the blade of the long sword. Illyana had two sword sheaths on her back that were lacquered a dark glossy blackish red. One was empty and one was holding the short sword.

Laura blocked Illyana sword stroke while simultaneously kicking with her left foot blade extended. Kicking and connected by stabbing Illyana's right knee and twisting the blade as she stabbed.

Illyana shrieked as her left leg buckled and, as she toppled, Laura pushed the Illyana's sword away with her right hand's claws while her left hand's claws swept down and cut Illyana open from throat to crotch. Illyana gave a bloody gurgling scream and vanished in a teleportation disk.

Laura spun around but nothing attacked. She gave another sniff and then ran down the path towards a distant black cave opening. Just as she reached the black mouth a healed Illyana ran out of the blackness holding both swords.

Laura and Illyana then engaged in a very fast and spirited flashing of swords and claws with Illyana sometimes using her armored left arm to deflect some of Laura's attacks as Laura's claws appeared to be unable to penetrate the armor.

Stab, parlay, block, thrust, slash, spin, dodge, cut.

Bits of hair and blood went flying, most of it was Illyana's but Laura was not untouched.

Then Laura got inside of Illyana's guard and it was over. Knee to the stomach, left hand claws into the throat. Another gurgling scream from Illyana and another flicker of a teleportation disk and she was gone again.

A snort of frustration and derision from Laura, then she ran into the darkness of the cave.

She found that it quickly led to a dead end. As she turned around a long metal spear with a very wicked spear head, held by healed Illyana, was thrust into Laura's left shoulder and the impact lifted Laura into the air as she was pinned to the cavern wall by the long bladed spear. The spear was an extra long boar spear in that it had jagged prongs at the end of the blade to prevent a body from moving down the spear and attacking the spear holder.

Illyana coolly eyed Laura with an empty expression while she slightly twisted the spear causing Laura to gasp in pain. Laura attempted to cut the spear but her blades just bounced off the spear's metal shaft. The length of the spear prevented Laura from reaching Illyana with her foot blades.

Illyana gave it a few more seconds as Laura struggled to no avail and then spoke.

 _"Time"._

Laura stop struggling and replied. _"Agree"._

Illyana pulled the spear from Laura thereby allowing her to drop to the floor where she panted a few times as she healed. Illyana then spoke again.

 _"Finally I win one, or is it two? I'm not sure about the dragon one"._

 _"One out of seven"_ replied Laura. _"The spear might be considered cheating, but the dragon form was a definite cheat"._

 _"Gutting me with my own swords was cheating"._

 _"No it was not"._

 _"I disagree"._ Was Illyanas reply as she teleported away _._

Laura shook herself and gave the air a sniff. Time for round eight of a very violent game of hide and seek combined with a vicious game of tag and pin.

There were advantages of having a hell lord as a friend when you wanted to really play violently. The others didn't like taking combat practice so... literally. But Illyana didn't mind. No... didn't mind at all.

 **Part 5b: Some time later...**

Illyana snorted with disgust. _"Three out of seventeen"._

 _"Your fault, you set the rules... pure hand to hand is to my advantage"._ Was Laura's mild reply.

The two of them were now naked and relaxing in a hot pool kind of Jacuzzi, still apparently in the dark cavern. Why naked? Nothing remotely romantic or naughty, it was just that they just didn't have much nudity sensitivity around each other; and there were towels on a table next to the Jacuzzi.

Laura's expression was neutral but her aura was one of the cat that ate the canary. Illyana was trying to exude big bad birdie but... she rather felt quite plucked.

 _"Still... shards you're fast"._

 _"Yes"._ Yea, the usual terse Laura conversation. But one that worked well with Illyana as Illyana tended to be quite terse herself.

But Laura had some questions for Illyana.

 _"Where did you get the swords? They are attractive and surprisingly robust"._ Laura had not been able to cut the swords with her claws.

 _"Gift from a family that I know. I rarely use them now as I prefer my soul sword. I spelled the swords to prevent you from harming them as they are rather dear to me"._

 _"Why"?_

 _"When... I was on my journey I was very reduced at one time and they were all I had. The long sword is named Honō no mēkā (Maker of flame) and the short sword is Honō no shōkaki (Extinguisher of flame). They were nicknamed the Maker and Taker due to the body count of their former owner. The swords... represent the honor and trust others had for me. That... is rare for me"._

Laura stretched out. Ahh hot water was so nice. _"Nicknamed by who"?_

 _"The Chinese. A Japanese warrior wielded them"._

 _"You were in China"?_

 _"No, pre Victorian England in an alternate dimension"._ Like that somehow explained her getting Japanese swords. Laura gave Illyana questioning look and Illyana provided a bit more detail.

 _"The swords were owned by a Mr. Bennet and were a gift so I could defend myself. He had taken the swords as his prize after defeating the prior owner"._

 _"I didn't realize how violent England was in that time"._ History was not one of Laura's strong points.

 _"It was mostly for the zombies but there were other wicked curs that needed killing as well. Rather liked the place, my kind of fun"._

Laura decided to switch topics, she wasn't sure if Illyana was joking or not. A not uncommon complaint from more then a few people.

 _"Since when do you turn into a dragon"?_

Illyana suddenly looked vaguely embarrassed. _"Been awhile. I hate... shifting form. Really dislike shape shifting magic. But it's been awhile and... I wasn't sure if I could actually do it other then that other dimension and... I felt it would be appropriate for you to... well fight one. Plus... well... kind of fun"._

 _"The skin was very hard but your eyes were soft"._

 _"Yea... ouch. Did squish you though"._

 _"Yea... ouch"._

The conversation faded out as the girls enjoyed just soaking in the hot water after their long and damaging combat session.

Emma had threatened to put the two of them in a support group, along with some others. The alternative was that the two of them would talk about things. So... the agreement was that after a round of fighting or hunting they would... talk.

Share. Discuses... things. Open up about... feelings.

This has started off slowly as both so disliked sharing things about their past. But over time they found that the other was a good partner for such things and that they kept anything said private.

Neither ever asked the other how they could have done what they did. Or why they did something. Or expressed any form of judgment or disgust.

That was... rare for them. Really only Logan had endured such things and he had been male so... well... some of the things the two of them had endured were different if you were not... male.

It was therapeutic to see that the horror in another's eyes was not over what you'd done, but what they themselves had done. Somehow that made them feel more... human.

They were not the women that they had once been. They had aged, grown. Not all the decisions they had made were rational or logical anymore to them. But they found that it was... nice to be able to converse about... things. And a burden shared does turn out to be less of a burden.

There was a song called Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls that they each somewhat liked but did not know that the other liked. The song... spoke to them as to what they had endured. Parts of it went like this.

 _And I'd give up forever to touch you_

 _'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

 _You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

 _And I don't wanna go home right now_

 _..._

 _..._

 _And I don't want the world to see me_

 _'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

 _When everything's made to be broken_

 _I just want you to know who I am_

 _And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_

 _Or the moment of truth in your lies_

 _When everything feels like the movies_

 _Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_

 _..._

 _..._

 **Part 5c: Some things learned over time**

Comments over a cooking fire as they cooked a kill.

 _"I used to cut myself. Sometimes quite a bit"._ Had been Laura's confession.

 _"Never was a cutter, mostly I just... brooded or found something to kill"._ Had been Illyana's observation.

...

...

A conversation after a prolonged session of fighting followed by a pizza.

 _"I... broke her neck. A savage twist and... and the woman who trained me, who had raised me for two years, who had taught me everything I knew about fighting... was dead. I killed her. My best... friend. Cat. I... And part of me loved it. I was... twelve. I still get nightmares about... that"._ Had been Illyana's out of the blue statement.

Laura eyed Illyana. Her eyes had gone... odd. Like she was... Laura was not sure what it meant but she could sense the sudden stress that Illyana was under and how it felt like Illyana was... walking a tightrope about something.

 _"I was tricked into killing my mother. Trigger scent. Her final gift to me was my name"._ Had been Laura's reply.

Not a case of one up's man ship on Laura's part. They had shared a private horror with each other and neither had recoiled.

...

...

 _"What ever happened to that demon who was hunting me"?_ Laura had asked once while they watched a film and ate popcorn. The film in question was Resident Evil (they both agreed that the first one was by far the best and that the umbrella corporation reminded them of Weapon-X program).

 _"I traded him to Hera of Hel, along with some girl scout cookies, for a magic gold coin"._ Had been Illyana's response.

Laura had thought that a very lame joke and had not followed up on it.

...

...

 _"I don't... like or do... um... S &M. Bad... memories"._ Had been Illyana's statement one day as Laura had confessed that she found her relationship with Angel so very sweet and confusing to her.

 _"I sold myself for a while. That... was a bad time. I... couldn't handle... I let others make decisions for me"._ Had been Laura's reply. _"Never again"._

 _"Agree, never again"._ Had been Illyana response.

...

...

 _"I find dark chocolate to be very... enjoyable"._ Was Laura's statement.

 _"Most woman do"._ Was Illyana's reply. _"I also... indulge from time to time"._

...

...

 _"Hunt or kill, which do you prefer the most"?_ Was Illyana's whispered question as they stalked some rabbits for supper.

 _"Kill"_ Was Laura's reply.

 _"Kill"_ Was Illyana's reply as well.

However kill meant different things to each of them.

Logan might like the hunt, but hunting can take a long time while kill meant that there would be something to eat. You needed to truly know deep hunger before you understood Illyana's answer.

Laura on the other hand had been hunted way to often so kill to her meant an end to her being hunted.

...

...

 _"What do you fear the most"?_ Had been Laura's question one day.

Illyana frowned as she replied. _"Love... Being the cause of death of those I love... and... and losing what I've clawed back. Losing what I've become, reverting to... what I was"._

Very familiar sounding to Laura. _"And what do you want"?_ Was her follow-up question.

 _"That which I fear the most"_ was Illyana's reply.

Yea... Laura could relate to that.

...

...

Sharing did help. It was infrequent, but they shared.

 **Part 5d: New question**

Laura shifted in the water then asked one of those questions. One that was related to the therapy that Emma Frost had insisted that the two of them engage in.

 _"What... kills of yours trouble you the most? Apart from Cat that is"._

Laura had just spoken about killing over thirty people on her first mission when she'd killed a presidential candidate, his family, and everybody in the room. The first of many missions and a truly massive body count before she had escaped her homicidal slavery. How that kill... bothered her. She was sure it was because of the kids shed killed.

Laura almost never mentioned Cat, Illyana got... odd whenever the topic of Cat came up. Laura did however like that Illyana had been willing to speak of Cat as that so closely matched her killing of her own loved ones. It really helped her to know that others had also done such... acts.

Illyana did not answer a first. Instead she closed her eyes and fully immersed herself in the water for thirty seconds. Then emerged and shook her head flinging water about. Then she responded.

 _"Several I suppose, but I think Breakworld is by far the worst"._

 _"I was unaware that you had visited"._

 _"I kind of did in a future that no longer exists so somewhat debatable I suppose. But I did what I did even if it does not exist any more"._

Laura just looked at her with a questioning expression. Illyana sighed.

 _"I had just... well recovered so does not describe my state of mind at that time. I was lost in grief over C... Kitty and I... I... did some really bad things. I was not... very... sane and... I ended up... focusing on... well... shards"._

Illyana then told the tale of when Illyana visited Breakworld for the first and last time.

 **Part 5e: Midnight at the end of the world**

 _I was mad, in shock due to some magic that had gone... well not wrong but way off the rails. It left me... irrational and consumed with... rage. Insane rage and... grief over... loss. Over paths now closed to me. I ended up obsessing over my inability to help or free Kitty from the damn Bullet she was trapped it. I couldn't even... located it. It was forbidden to me. I was also obsessing over... over..._

 _What had become of me._

 _They took Kitty from me. She was dead or so her file said. So I... I took their lives as recompense._

 _Everybody who was involved in planning that Bullet. Everybody who knew what it was for and had a say in creating it or deploying it. Not the minions who built it but... those who designed it, managed it, led it. They all... paid._

 _It started at midnight in each time zone. Everybody responsible who was in that in that time zone... died. Died by vanishing but there tended to be a rather large amount of blood left. I... used my critters at first._

 _I had compiled a list, had magically marked my victims, and... and I was... exacting._

 _There were witnesses to the deaths and by the fourth hour the planet was in a panic. There were eighteen time zones on their planet so fourteen midnights left by the time folks started to flee._

 _Those who fled to a yet untouched time zone managed to delay the reckoning until the appointed hour for that zone. Those who fled off planet did not survive as death came for them when midnight arrived at where they had been before the fled._

 _I left the capital till last. And the leaders and survivors... well... those... those..._

 _I then gave the planet an ultimatum. They had prophesy that a mutant from Earth was going to end their world, that was why Kitty was trapped in that bullet that they sent to destroy earth._

 _Well... that mutant was here. But there was one thing that could save them._

 _They got to kill all the remaining survivors... each and every one. And if they missed just one... just one... then their world would end as I would flood it with demons._

 _I gave them three days._

 _It only took two._

 _It was harsh._

 _It was cruel._

 _It was insane._

 _It was what hell lords do._

 **Part 5f: Reflections about midnight**

 _"And now"?_ Was Laura's question.

 _"I wish... that I had... not done that. It was not... good... for me"._

 _"Felt good though"._ Was Laura's reply.

 _"Yea... it did"._


	6. Chapter 6

**Tag I'm It (A Snowflake on Ice Vignette)**

Author's note: Never really cared for the X-Men character Jubilee (Jubilation Lee). The character was created shortly before I stopped collecting for over twenty four years, and was indicative of the storylines that made me stop collecting everything, sell two thirds of my collection, and just walk away (Plus Illyana was dead so kind o moment from me to Marvel as I voted with my money).

But I came up with a story involving her as I read some X-23 stuff involving Jubilee. I'd run out of one on one ideas for Illyana and Laura, but… group activities opens a whole new set of ideas; and I think I accidentally created a team. I also found that adding Jubilee is a great conversation starter as the girl is quite chatty, heck unendingly chatty.

I figure this takes place during the missing eight months before Illyana moved the school to limbo. Oh, and for those who don't know, Jubilee was an Asian American female mutant but is now turned vampire (not my writing, that's Marvel as I suppose they had this happen to her as a plot twist as she is mostly a sidekick character). And the Lucifer snippet in this story is tied to the TV show, not the comic.

This is mostly a comedy and social interaction story, but I suppose it does partial degrade into a variation of girls gone wild, rather like my humor chapters in What to do about Magik chapters five and six. This chapter became way longer then I thought it would (heck I think this chapter is bigger then the rest of Tag I'm It chapters combined), but I had fun, some might say a bit too much fun (snicker). Not sure if Marvel is making Illyana and Dani an item but I've continued "hinting" at it.

And of course I have references to other stories, not for any shameless plugs… well mostly not, but because people live lives and things come up in conversation. And for some reason Steve Tyler ended up in this story which was totally not planned, I'm still trying to figure out how that happened.

 **Part 6a: Girls Night Out (Remix) Part a**

" _This is the first time, I think, that I've ever seen you appalled, or is that mortification"?_ Stated Dani with a smile and a laugh. " _Either way, a definite first"._

Dani was sitting in the leather passenger seat of a Jaguar E type convertible, one of the most classic cars ever built, or to be more precise a modern replica of the Jaguar E type made by Eagle, meaning that it had all the modern equipment, a top of the line reliable engine, overall mechanical reliability, luxurious, and massive comfort.

The car was British racing green and the leather top was down. There were only two seats and Illyana was in the driver's seat with her head down on the steering wheel (the car was stopped). Why was Illyana so… mortified? Well it involved the other two passengers.

Other two? But the Jaguar E only seats two you say? The other two were sitting on the front part of the trunk with their legs tucked in the well behind the front seats waving at the crowd.

Crowd? Yea… crowd. It was New Orleans, nighttime on Bourbon Street and it was Mardi Gras. The as to yet unnamed two were busy collecting bead necklaces being thrown by the crowd.

For those who know that that means then… yea. For those who don't, well… if you are female and show your… um… fun bags, bazookas, ta-tas, jugs, melons, air bags, speed bumps, zeppelins, twin pack, hooters, yabbos, eye magnets, knockers, flashing your high beams, tracks of land, traffic stoppers, sweater meat, the grand tetons… in short boobs, the crowd throws you a string of beads.

Jubilee and Laura were sitting on the back of the Jag and they had a great many strings of beads because… well… that bare breasts thing that was just mentioned.

" _This really is a sweet ride Illyana, I can't believe you kept it secret"._ Continued Dani.

It had been one hell of a night and just kept ramping higher.

 **Part 6b: The path to disaster**

Jubilation Lee, usually known as Jubilee, was visiting her friend Laura at the New Xavier School. She'd brought her adopted baby son Shogo with her (and was busy at times teaching everybody how to change a diaper whenever nature called, Bobby ended up very traumatized by the whole thing).

Young Jean and Scott had both already departed for separate college campuses and the rest of the All New X-men, with Laura, were soon to depart on an epic road trip.

But Jubilee had wanted to spend a few days with Laura and had come a knocking. She was glad for some time with Laura but… the repurposed old Weapon-X facility was in the middle of nowhere.

No clubs.

No bars.

No museums or libraries (not that Jubilee actually went to such things very much).

No theaters or plays or movie theaters.

In the big zip, apart from a danger room and a really good internet connection but you can only binge watch Netflixs so much.

" _You guys don't even have a Starbucks out here"._ Groused Jubilee. _"Not that I can… partake of anything anymore… really miss the brownies and mochas"._

" _Bobby's performance is amusing though, bet you can't find that in New York"._ Commented Dani. She was currently hanging out with Laura and Jubilee in the living room. _"And you never needed caffeine Jubilee"._

" _But I liked it"!_ Was her plaintive complaint. _"Now it's just blood. Blood… Blood… Blood… and fighting. And just try ordering that at a bar or a night club. So not on the menu, published or otherwise. And I can't even do an In-and-Out burger anymore! I love those things"!_

Oh, but what about Bobby? Well… he'd taken the danger room training on diapers (and had protested quite vigorously about having to take it) but was finding reality to be more… challenging. He was in the bathroom with Shogo as it was his turn to demonstrate what he'd learned. He'd put Shogo on the changing table, and removed the befouled diaper and… hesitated.

That was all the time Shogo needed.

Basic reality is that little kids are tiny super villains. They can sense hesitation and fear and when they do they strike with all the powers they posses.

Bobby's screams could been heard throughout the faculty. _"He's pissing! He's pissing one me!_ _ **AHHHHHH!**_ _Stop! Stop pissing! Oh God! Oh God! It's in my eyes! It burns! Stop you little…_ _ **NO!**_ _Oh God Above NO! He… Pooped! He pooped on me!_ _ **POOP! IS! EVERYWERE!**_ _Oh God it's on my hands! Oh God it's on my face! Oh God! Oh God!_ _ **AHHHHHHHHH! Help me! Help me! Please somebody help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pleeseeeeeeeeeeee"!**_

" _I think you need to go rescue Bobby Jubilee"_ was Dani's laughing remark.

" _Me? What about you"?_ Relied the snickering Jubilee.

" _I changed the diaper two hours ago with no problem. And before that Laura changed the diaper with no problem. And before that young Beast changed the diaper with no problem. You need to swoop in and save the day before Bobby decides to start freezing everything in sight"._

Jubilee rose from the couch she was sprawled upon. _"Okay… okay. I'm coming for you Bobby boy"!_

Jubilee used her vampire speed to swiftly reach Bobby before he did anything rash. Disaster averted. Bobby was pushed into the shower where he was to remain for the next half an hour, crying and trembling from the ordeal while Jubilee cleaned up.

For some reason adult super villains have never have figured out the ultimate weapon against teen super heroes. The dreaded giant pooping diaper monster.

A short time later… Jubilee waked back in with Shogo held in her arms, Shogo had the giggles, evil little giggles.

" _I say we go for a girl's night out"!_ Declared Jubilee. _"Hit some bars, some dance clubs. Cut loose a bit. Hank and the others can baby-sit for one night"._

" _Where would you suggest"?_ Asked Laura.

" _New Orleans I think. It's Mardi Gras time"._ Replied Jubilee. _"I invite you and Dani. Let's go have some fun"._

" _But not much fun for you"._ Dani pointed out. _"You can't eat, can't drink, not much for you to do other then dance"._

" _I like dancing, but yea… bit of a bummer. God I miss nachos and french fries, and alcohol and… other things"._ Sighed Jubilee. _"Really miss coffee and alcohol"._

" _You should try blood wine or blood brandy then"._ Commented Illyana who had just walked in and had heard end of the conversation.

Illyana and Jubilee were not friends, not even close. And it wasn't the vampire thing, Illyana didn't appear to give a dang about that, and with vampire senses Jubilee could tell that that was true. Almost all of Jubilee's friends were always … apprehensive, hell some even felt she should be killed (those folks were currently not on the friends list). Which is just understandable if you are a gazelle and were friends with a gazelle that had suddenly turned carnivore.

But Illyana was… so not… meat as it were to vampire senses. More like… a competing predator. A really big competing predator and one that… well… one that made Jubilee feel like she supposed others felt around her.

Apprehensive…

An apprehension she of course masked by being extra… Jubilee'ish. But… blood booze? She'd never heard of such stuff.

" _And you have this… stuff"?_ Jubilee innocently asked.

" _I can acquire it"._ Was Illyana's reply.

And that's how Illyana become the fourth on Jubilee's girl's night out.

 **Part 6c: The stage is set**

" _And why can't we just teleport there and walk around"?_ Asked Illyana with a tone of mild irritation. That had been good enough for London when Emma had wanted a girls night out, but Jubilee wanted a car as well.

" _We need a cool ride, go in style. Walking is for losers, let's ride like queens"!_

" _In what"?_ Was Illyana's cool toned reply.

" _Your car"._ Replied Jubilee which prompted questioning looks from Laura and Dani.

" _My…"?_ Illyana didn't finish.

" _Car. Your car. The one you have stashed in the garage in that house in San Francisco. The one I saw you driving that one night and followed you back to where you hid it"._

" _That's… a safe house"_. Replied Illyana trying to change the subject. Shit… somebody knew about the car.

" _With a car"._ Jubilee was staying on topic.

" _With a car"._ Admitted Illyana.

" _With a really really really great car"._ Jubilee just had to point that out that little fact.

" _How did you end up with a car that you're hiding"?_ Asked Dani of Illyana.

" _I'm not hiding it. Just… not… showing it"._

Dani was intrigued. _"Spill it girl"._ Dani was one of the few people who mostly just treated Illyana like she was a normal person. Laura was another.

" _Okay… The Top Gear guys felt I should own a car. They wanted to give me one as a gift, a Mazda Miata I think, for helping Hammond and his family with a little problem. But once I said I would only accept advice and not a car the choice became a rather heated discussion amongst them regarding what they thought the perfect car would be; and I think the price went way up as it was no longer their money that they were spending"._

" _What kind of problem"?_ Inquired Laura.

" _Faerie kind. Some Fay were trying snatch his youngest daughter and I… showed them the error of their ways"._

Neither Jubilee or Laura were Top Gear fans, or even knew of the show, but Dani occasionally watched even though she was more of a pickup trunk kind of person (Ford F150 fan to be precise). But she did like cool cars.

" _I'll bet... Were their any survivors? Hmmm, never mind that… What kind of car is it"?_ Dani inquired. _"Wait… let me guess… Lambo, has to be a Lamborghini. Bet it's a black Diablo"._

" _No"._

" _Um… Ferrari? Maserati"?_

" _No"._

" _Duu, this involves Hammond and May so… must be a Porsche 911"._

" _No"._

Jubilee interrupted Dani's attempts at guessing. _"Enough with the guessing, you'll know when you see the car"._

Which elicited a slight scowl from Illyana as she addressed Jubilee. _"Emma really is right about you, you are quite irritating"._

" _I'm not irritating, I'm vivacious"._

" _Which means irritating"._

" _No it doesn't"._

" _Yes it does, look it up"._

Jubilee whipped out her cell phone from her back pocket and typed lightning fast with the thumbs (vampires are fantastically good at texting). She held up the Google definition of vivacious for all to see. _"See! Wrongo"!_

Illyana looked… smug for some reason. _"Wrong site, try Urban dictionary"._

Jubilee looked confused but went to the site and entered the word vivacious; then… a look of outrage. _**"That… that… that…"!**_

" _Bitch"?_ Was Illyana's helpful comment. _"Ice queen? Putting the F in Frost"?_

" _ **YES!**_ _I can't believe she did that"!_

Dana snatched the cell phone from Jubilee and read aloud the definition. _"Vivacious. The act of behaving like Jubilee being her usual irritating and self obsessed self. Gum chewing and bubble popping is frequently involved. Large quantities of whining tends to be prevalent followed by inadequate and lowbrow sarcasm and poor fashion choices"._

Jubilee fumed for the next half hour as everybody got dressed to go out; or as Dani put it _"Don't get your Frosties all in a bunch"._ Frosties are unstable module panties and bras manufactured by Frost Industries (Emma makes a killing).

" _At least I wear them"_ was Jubilee's reply which earned her a frown from Illyana.

" _I don't always go commando"!_

" _Just when there's an idiot with a camera"._ Smirked Dani. _"Told you… always have your Frosties on"._

Jubilee later tried to post something nasty about Ms. Frost, but found that the site blocked it. Emma had already thought of that and paid to make sure it couldn't happen.

 **Part 6D: Safe house**

" _How the hell did you afford it"?_ Asked Jubilee as she stroked the side of the car. Wow, what a fantastic looking ride.

" _Hell Lord, money is not usually a problem. Just where do you think the money comes from for all the X-Toys"?_

" _Now you sound just like Emma"._ Smirked Dani.

The four women were in the safe house's garage (one car garage, extra long, we're talking San Francisco here). The tall but slender three story house was built upon the garage. The garage was empty apart from the car.

Enzo Ferrari called the original Jaguar E the most beautiful car ever made. The New York Museum of Modern Art begged for one to put on permanent display and said it was a timeless shape of exceptional and enduring beauty. A survey among the British public not only rated it as the most beautiful car in the world, but gave it four times as many votes as its nearest rival. The Eagle Jag E was all those things and so much more.

" _You've been holding out on me Yana"._ Spoke Dani while giving Illyana a look.

" _I… didn't think you cared about such things"._ Replied Illyana.

" _I don't, but for this I make an exception. Looks like a sweet ride. I drive next time"._

" _Deal"._

Dani had already called shotgun. The reason being that Laura and Jubilee could both sit on the back and hang on. The girls got in the car and Illyana hit the garage door opener as she turned the key.

 _ **Grrruuuummbbblllleeee**_ _._ Went the engine with a sensual purr and all the girls gave a little shiver (girls just so love the right kind of convertible).

With that they hit the road, first for some dark desert highway driving, then to New Orleans (teleporting is oh so convenient). Dani hit the stereo button and Cyndi Lauper's Girls just want to have fun blasted forth.

…

…

 _That's all they really want_

 _Some fun_

 _When the working day is done_

 _Girls - they want to have fun_

 _Oh girls just want to have fun_

 _Some boys take a beautiful girl_

 _And hide her away from the rest of the world_

 _I want to be the one to walk in the sun_

 _Oh girls they want to have fun_

 _Oh girls just want to have_

…

…

 **Part 6E: Predators night out**

Stop me if you've heard this one. A Vampire, a Valkyrie, a Hell Lord, and a Wolverine walk into a bar…

The song was blasting Safety Dance by Men Without Hats as the four girls sat down at their table.

 _We can leave your friends behind_

 _'Cause your friends don't dance_

 _And if they don't dance_

 _Well, they're no friends of mine_

 _Say, we can go where we want to_

 _A place where they will never find_

 _And we can act like we come_

 _From out of this world_

 _Leave the real one far behind_

 _And we can dance_

 _Or sing_

 _We can go when we want to_

 _The night is young and so am I_

 _And we can dress real neat_

 _From our hats to our feet_

 _And surprise 'em with the victory cry_

 _Say, we can act if we want to_

 _If we don't, nobody will_

 _And you can act real rude and totally removed_

 _And I can act like an imbecile_

…

…

" _Wow… your clubbing super powers are fantastic Illyana"._ Gushed Jubilee.

Access was one thing, but no line, no hassle, table for four right where they wanted, great view of the dance floor, and prompt service. Jubilee was impressed, really impressed, powers that were practical! Her vampire powers of persuasion were good, but not this good. Now if she could just get Illyana to cough up the blood booze.

" _Is it magic or some kind of secondary mutation? Either way sign me up"!_

Illyana nonchalantly replied. _"It's… kind of a hell lord thing, plus some magic I cribbed from the Scarlet Witch as she never likes to stand in line and she came up with a probability hex for it"._ She, and Laura, were having blue moon Belgian style wheat ale.

" _Does it work anywhere"?_

" _Umm… no. Most places but if the… proprietor is… strong then the suggestion enchantment breaks down and things have been known to get feisty"._

" _Any examples"?_ asked Dani.She'd started off with a Stone Brewery MegaWheat Double IPA. She also snagged a spicy shrimp from the appetizer plate that had just been delivered.

" _Really fancy club called Lux in Los Angles. Shit, I even ended up getting carded by them. I never get carded"._

Illyana recounted brief story:

 **BEGIN REFLECTION**

" _You must now leave"._ Stated a glaring Mazikeen who was suddenly in Illyana's face. Part time bartender, part time security for Lucifer, part time head torture (we all have our little hobbies and life is just extra nice when hobbies and employment can overlap).

Illyana had been sitting at the bar listening to Lucifer playing the piano and singing. She had to give the devil his due, he really was a good singer. He was currently doing his version of The house of the rising sun, a rather drawn out mournful ballad version.

 _There is a house in New Orleans_

 _They call the Rising Sun_

 _And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy_

 _And God, I know I'm one_

 _My mother was a tailor_

 _She sewed my new blue jeans_

 _My father was a gamblin' man_

 _Down in New Orleans_

 _Now the only thing a gambler needs_

 _Is a suitcase and trunk_

 _And the only time he's satisfied_

 _Is when he's on a drunk_

 _Oh mother, tell your children_

 _Not to do what I have done_

 _Spend your lives in sin and misery_

 _In the House of the Rising Sun_

…

…

" _And why is that"?_ Replied Illyana while returning the glare.

" _You are under age"._

" _I so am not"._

" _I do not care what your documents say, you are underage and you used magic to gain admission to the premises. Leave now or I'll throw you out"._

" _You and what army"?_

" _Just me"._

" _Try it"._

Which Mazikeen promptly proceeded to do. Well… at least try.

The fight was epic. Legendary in the telling. They wrassled, they tangled, they dueled with sword and knife. Many a bottle and glass was smashed and blows were exchanged.

All the while Lucifer provided a soundtrack on the piano as he played and sang various songs (Hit me with your best shot was quite appropriate at one point). He later claimed that the fight was just part of the show (the crowd had loved it and kept wondering just how the special effects had been done).

Afterwards, two beaten and bloody female demons had finally called truce and worked it out like responsible adults… ok… that's not true. Instead they worked it out like unreasonable adults (alcohol was involved).

 **END REFLECTION**

" _So the two of us ended up doing shots and that's where I discovered blood wine and blood brandy"._

" _Let me get this straight, you hung out with the devil"?_ Asked Dani while giving Illyana a sarcastic look. _"What was he like"?_

" _Not the devil, a devil, he's from another reality. Has family issues, but he is an annoying kind of guy, so full of himself. Think lovechild of Noel Coward and Mick Jagger, with a dash of the British actor Terry-Thomas. And I wasn't hanging out with him. I… it's all kind of blurry now that I think about it, but I ended up hanging with… damn… I think… I think we did a lot of shots… Oh crap she got me drunk… or… did I get her drunk? Either way that helps explain why we… Ummm. Maze is ok once you get to know her, you'd really like her knife collection Dani, very impressive"._

' _I'm so not buying any of this"._ Stated Jubilee. _"Now come on! I ordered the buffalo wings and those fried cheese thingies, not that I can eat any of them, make due with the blood booze"!_

Illyana theatrically sighed and then pulled two bottles out of nowhere. Both were darkly colored (to prevent the blood from aging from sun light). One was blood brandy, one was blood wine. Illyana broke the seal on the brandy bottle and pored out a shot for Jubilee and handed it to her.

The shot glass was full of a deep red liquid that smelt both of blood and of alcohol. Jubilee eyed it with both interest and a bit of trepidation.

" _Is it safe"?_ She asked after giving it a sniff.

Illyana made no answer, instead she poured another shot and then downed it herself in one gulp.

Jubilee clarified. _"Ok, is it safe for vampires"?_

" _Yes"._

Laura and Dani closely watched Jubilee take a sip.

" _Mmmm, tasty"._ Jubilee then drank the shot in one long slow sip.

" _That's… really good"._ Was her assessment as she poured another shot.

" _Can… humans try it"?_ Asked Dani.

" _It is a bit salty because of the blood, but… safe for human consumption. I suggest you only try some as it does have quite a kick"._ Was Illyana's reply after she gave it some thought. _"It does have a high alcohol content"._

Both Dani and Laura gave it a try and agreed, rather salty. But… interesting flavor.

 **Part 6F: Girl Talk**

Snippets of conversations:

…

…

Jubilee poured another shot, took a sip and then spoke while slightly gesturing with the shot glass at Illyana. _"Why don't I freak you out? Not that I'm complaining, but even Wolvie had some tensing whenever he first sensed my presence in a room. But you… nada. Zilch. No reaction at all. It's as if I'm human"._

Illyana took a bite of her blue cheese burger, and then replied as she chewed. _"You're not the first vampire I've met and… well if I got tense about every monster I meet I'd never relax"._

Jubilee rejected the explanation. _"Bunk. You're too casual about it. Give girl"._

Illyana was both irritated at being questioned and… yet… rather pleased to be treated as if she was just another woman. _"No… it's private. Happened on my journey. Suffice it to say I am rather familiar with vampires and leave it at that"._

Jubilee eyed Illyana with suspicion. Sound like there was a story in that statement but…

…

…

Jubilee was playing with an empty shot glass, twirling it about on the table, she was also more then a bit tipsy.

" _Miss Wolvie…"._ She got teary eyed all of a sudden. _"Really miss him"._

" _We all miss him"._ Replied Dani.

" _Not as much as me"._ Was her sobbed reply.

" _I greatly miss him as well"._ Laura stated _. "He was one of the few who ever fully trusted me. Who felt… that I really could be more then what I was"._

" _You were both his foster daughters, just like Kitty"._ Commented Illyana about Jubilee and Laura.

Jubilee filled all four shot glasses with blood brandy, then handed each of them a glass and proposed a toast. _"To absent… friends"._

They all nodded and downed their shots and… tears were shed by all.

…

…

" _How goes therapy"._ Asked Jubilee of Illyana which earned her a mild glare from Illyana.

Jubilee waved her hands in defense. _"Hey, just asking, it's not like everybody doesn't already know that you're in therapy. I mean… duuu. If anyone's in therapy it's you"._

" _You really want to know"?_

" _Um… yea. Got my own issues so… yea, your issues might have some insight into mine"._

Later Illyana was to reflect that it had to have been the booze that partially prompted her to reply. That and… she'd promised Dr. Strange that she'd try to share with people who actually asked, it was just that she was rather surprised to find Jubilee being the person asking.

Illyana held up her right hand as a fist while taking a sip from her glass with her left hand. She then held up one finger on her right hand. _"Exhausting at times. Therapist number one. Dr. Strange is a combination of therapy and training, and he never let's me get away with anything. Always having me reflect upon things and then having me tell him what I think. Nice though… he's had his own issues and… he can kind of relate. And Wong is a great cook, he makes these fantastic little pork fried dumplings that are to die for, and he really knows how to properly make tea"._

Illyana held up a second finger _. "Emma is her usual self, but she does have a good understanding of some of my aspects as we were Phoenix together. Which makes her actually better equipped to comprehend some of my… motivations and viewpoints. Plus I'm a blond and she really does feel that blonds are better. And I don't get her bitch on most of the time. Keeps making me… think about things. Even made me make a list. So she's good'._

Third finger. _"Storm insists I spend one hour a week with her in a remote location just looking at life in general. Not much talking, just… just being around her. Odd… rather like that"._

Forth finger. _"Dani has me talking with Gus Grim again, he was the therapist she brought in after… well… after I F'd up the New Mutants when I destroyed the Elder Gods and got my soul back. We meet at an Indian reservation open air gun range and talk while we both practice. H prefers revolvers by the way, I think he likes to pretend he's Clint Eastwood from Dirty Harry. Never ever try to avoid a topic with him other then being honest as to why you wish to avoid a topic. Still have no idea why he insists on being at the gun range with me, likely wants to have an excuses to be armed in my presence as his first encounter was… difficult; for him that is. I was ok with it"._

Thumb (Fifth finger). _"And Beast has me talking to this very understanding but total, and I mean total, left wing nut job. But he is good on having me and my brother work out issues between us. Open dialog about what we're feeling and how our actions makes the other feel so… all in all good for me and Peter. But the one on one sessions are very annoying. Keeps trying to convince me that I have faulty thought patters like 'Destruction is the only way to achieve my goals'. When that is obviously not true for all goals, just most of the important ones. Thinks it's positive that I've stopped ranting… like I ever ranted. He's also a total peace nut as well. Another fun an annoying quote is 'Ms. Rasputin, identifying yourself as a demon sorceress is defining yourself as society views you. You must break such social norms and embrace your inner angel'. I mean gees, talk about not seeing the obvious"._

First finger the second time. _"Unmoderated group encounters with Laura and Dani. Laura and I mostly just fight but we then talk about… things afterwards; otherwise Emma threatened to moderate the discussion and bring in others as well. Dani and I fight as well but… talk a lot more"._

" _You have five therapists"?_ Spoke Jubilee with what sounded like awe in her voice. Even Laura looked impressed.

" _Currently… I think I had another one but he got lost in Limbo somewhere. I suppose I'll eventually find him"._

" _Lost"?_ Asked Dani with a disbelieving expression as she sipped some Four Roses bourbon.

" _He felt everything I described was a delusion so… I left him there to get a better understanding of my reality"._

" _Ok, I call bullshit on that"._ Stated Jubilee after downing yet another shot. They'd cracked open the blood wine at this point and Jubilee was alternating taking sips of blood wine and sips of blood brandy.

An evil smile from Illyana. _"Ok... got me… I only left him there for a few hours… He did cancel all future sessions afterwards, after first profusely apologizing"._

" _Do you lie to them"?_ Asked Laura. Her healing factor was able to neutralize most alcohol very quickly, but not the blood booze. This was creating a rather laid back Laura (the thought of Laura being an angry drunk is quire intimidating).

Illyana was being more talkative as well. _"It defeats the purpose of therapy to lie, unless I was to have some… agenda like destroying the Elder Gods; but that's done so… no I don't lie. Might refuse to answer some questions but no lying. Plus Dani would hit me if I lied to Mr. Grim"._

" _I totally would"._ Injected Dani. _"Then I'd tie you down and use the feather on you"._

" _Shards… not the feather… Please, anything but the feather"._ Replied Illyana in mock horror.

" _Yea… the feather. The Biggggg feather. Then I'd…"._ Replied Dani with an evil smile of her own.

" _Hey! No flirting! This is my girl's night out"!_ Interrupted Jubilee. _"Flirt on your time"!_

…

…

" _Do any of you ever want kids"?_ Asked Jubilee with a bit of a slur.

Illyana and Laura were quick their responses. _"No"._

Dani answered differently. _"Yes… someday. If I meet the right somebody"._

" _Never wanted one"._ Was Jubilee's mumbled reply. _"Just little rug rats. Crying, and pooping and peeing, and always needed something. I'm too busy for that. Things to do, places to go, parties to attend. And then… then… Shogo came into my life and stole my heart, and most of my life it appears. And I wouldn't trade it for the world"._

" _Would you avoid it if you could do it over"?_ Inquired Laura.

" _Never… and yet… sometimes I get so… scared. Scared for him. I was never that scared for me and I've been plenty terrified for me. Kids… they do something to you"._

" _I cannot imagine having do deal with a young child. I would not do well"._ Stated Laura with conviction. _"I am not suited to the young"._

Illyana was in agreement. _"Ditto sister… ditto. I mean, can you imagine me with a young kid or a daughter? So not happening"._

And then a murmured statement. _"With my bad luck you know I'd just end up have to kill it"._

…

…

 **Part 6G: Dancing…**

After eating and drinking, quite a lot of drinking to be honest, Jubilee decided that some dancing was in order, so the girls abandoned the table and the now empty bottles of booze and hit the dance floor.

Laura was still undecided about the whole idea of dancing, but she'd danced more then a few times with Angel, plus she was feeling the booze, so she just followed Jubilees lead.

After an hour or so of sweaty gyrating, Jubilee asked the girls a question amidst the noise and flashing lights. All four were currently dancing together.

Currently Sweet Pompeii from Bastille was pounding out the beat.

…

…

 _But if you close your eyes,_

 _does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?_

 _And if you close your eyes,_

 _does it almost feel like you've been here before?_

 _How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

 _How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

 _If you close your eyes,_

 _does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?_

…

…

" _If you could team up with anybody who would it be"!_ Shouted Jubilee. _"And it can't be anybody who's currently dead"!_

" _That excludes you then"!_ Shouted back Dani.

" _Ha ha! So not funny"!_

Illyana was the first to answer. _"Victor Von Doom"!_

" _ **Doom"?!**_ Replied both Dani and Jubilee in disbelief while Laura was impressed with the reply.

" _Yea… Dr. Doom! He really knows how to dance the Tango and not unduly burdened at making hard decisions! Plus Mmmm, good food and wine. Iron man like abilities, plus magic, and bonus he doesn't drip slime like the Tony Stark! Man, you should have seen some of the things I found in Tony's room at the Avengers when I pranced them"!_

" _But he's a villain"!_ Shouted Jubilee in disagreement.

" _How do you know he dances so well"?!_ Was Laura's astute comment.

Dani said nothing, she was contemplating an Illyana/Doom teamup and wondering if humanity would survive, she was concluding no.

" _Fun dream I had once and that's my pick so deal with it. Next"!_

Dani voiced her choice. _"Thor, the male one"!_

" _Size queen"!_ Shouted Jubilee while giggling a bit. _"The man is huuuugggeeee"!_

" _He is a god after all"._ Laughed Dani.

" _Mostly good for hitting things"!_ Shouted Illyana. _"His brother's the smart one"._

" _And a weasel"!_ Replied Dani.

Illyana had to admit that _"Yes, he is at that"!_

" _My turn"!_ Announced Jubilee. _"I pick Batman"!_

" _He hates vampires"!_ Was Illyana's observation.

" _No he doesn't"!_ Complained Jubilee. _"And I could be Robin! I'd make a fantastic Robin"!_

" _Wrong. He really hates them, and chatty vivacious chicks as well! Bad choice. You'd likely get staked before you could explain that your one of the good guys! And then get staked again after he got tired of you talking! I think the no killing rule of his doesn't apply to the undead"!_

" _Like you've met him! He's fictional"!_

" _Wrong…. I was there a few months ago! Bad summoning ritual by some idiots! Their version of New Your City is cooler"!_

" _I'm so not buying that"!_ Huffed Jubilee. Dani on the other hand suddenly suspected just why Illyana had a bat knife boomerang in her room. She'd said she just picked it up one day but…

" _Your turn Laura"!_ Jubilee cheerfully announced. _"Who's your pick"?!_

" _I would select… Captain America"!_

The three other girls all ohh'd and heartily approved of the choice. Hot sexy American apple pie was one of Jubilee's many comment, some of which actually made Laura blush (I think it was the comparison to a Sunday and just what Jubilee would cover with the hot fudge, something about a banana… or was it…).

…

…

Later… sitting at the bar imbibing in liquid refreshments (and some peanuts).

" _What's everybody's thoughts on Alex Summers"?_ Asked Dani.

" _Douche"._ Said Jubilee.

" _Douche"._ Echoed Laura feeling quite bold and social (it was the booze).

" _Douche"._ Judged Illyana.

" _Total douche"._ Agreed Dani.

" _Scott could be quite irritating, but Alex is… a disaster that never ends"._ Stated Illyana. _"I sometimes find it hard to believe they are actually brothers"._

Dani smirked. _"I can't believe they made him an Avenger? Who's next, Squirrel Girl"?_

" _Pick one, Hawkeye or Alex? Who would you rather be with on a team up"?_ Was a question Jubilee threw out for the group.

" _Alex"._ Was Illyana's reply. She was still annoyed over that video that Hawkeye had posted about… Bloomingdales. Man the effort it had taken to get that off the web.

" _Hawkeye"._ Was Laura's reply. _"Less dangerous, Alex has been known to fry things accidentally"._

" _Hawkeye"._ Was Dani's answer. _"Guy has issues, but at least he's accurate, and cuter"._

" _Hawkeye"._ Echoed Jubilee. " _Umm… but no wooden stakes or anything"._

" _Let's ditch this joint and go shoot some pool"._ Was Dani's suggestion to the group. There was concurrence and they left in search of a pool hall (there was one conveniently across the street).

…

…

 **Part 6I: Smoky Joe's pool hall**

" _Could your sword devamp me"?_ Jubilee asked of Illyana as Jubilee lined up a shot and… aced it.

Illyana frowned in annoyance at Jubilee's shot and made a mental note that all three of them were much better pool players then she was and that they had totally snookered her.

" _Possible, but you'd die. I can cut the enchantments but that would just destroy you"._

" _Anything less… umm…. dead"?_ As Jubilee nailed the Eight Ball.

" _Sorry, no. I think I can make blood taste like Coke though"._

" _Never liked Coke, I always was a Pepsi girl"._ Sighed Jubilee, then with a grin that showed fangs. _"Pay up, that's two more bottles you owe me"._

" _Pepsi… Blah!"_ Replied Illyana while making a face at the thought of Pepsi; hell and the Vatican had one thing in common, they both only served Coke. Then she reached into nowhere and pulled forth two more bottles of Blood Brandy.

" _Hey… one of these is kind of clear instead of red"._ Observed Jubilee.

" _Albino blood"._ Answered Illyana as Dani racked the balls for another round.

" _That's not how it works"!_ Complained Jubilee. That answer was bull! _"Albino's don't have clear blood"!_

" _I don't make stuff"._ Replied Illyana. _"I just sometimes drink it. And how the hell did all of you get so good at pool"?_

" _Used to spend endless hours with Wolvie playing"._ Answered Jubilee with a bit of a mournful sigh.

Dani broke and then replied as two balls went into pockets. _"Ditto as well, and I like to play"._

Laura rubbed the end of her pool quite with the blue chalk. _"I found that I am good at this game. It is just vectors and angles"._

" _Bunch of sharks"._ Mumbled Illyana to herself.

…

…

There was a disturbance halfway though the next game as a rather large individual came thought the door and spotted them. Laura had frozen and then turned around to face the door as Cain Marko (the Juggernaut) of all people came in.

He spotted both Dani and Laura and bellowed. _"Fer crying out loud! Can't I ever get away from you X Bitches?! Now you're even chilling in my favorite pool hall"!_

Cain took a menacing step towards them and… was gone in a flash of light. Everybody in the pool hall looked panicked for a moment, then… calm was restored as if nothing had happened.

Dani glanced at Illyana and noticed the end of whatever gestures Illyana had done to cast the spell. _"What did you do Illyana"?_

" _Gave Cain a time out and made everybody pretend nothing had happened. I'm having fun and I'm not letting the usual fun night out turn into the enviable confrontation with some villain. I came prepared"._

" _So Cain's in Limbo"?_

" _Um… no. Elsewhere. Concierge service"._

" _Concierge what"?_

" _It's a hell lord thing... I almost never use it"._

" _Why not"?_

" _I like fighting"._ Was Illyana somewhat flippant but very accurate reply.

" _So… now what"?_ Inquired Jubilee.

" _Let's see if he listened to reason"._

There was a flicker of light and Cain was standing before them holding some tickets.

" _We cool"?_ Illyana asked with a glare at Cain.

" _We cool"._ Cain answered while trying to glare back. But he looked… intimidated about something. _"But I want one thing more"._

" _What"?!_ Was Illyana's irritated reply.

" _I want you all to drink a toast with me to my brother. Yea I hated him most of the time, and can't really remember how many times I tried to kill him but… he was my brother and… he always did want the best for me and… hell… I was even an X-Man at one point so… He… well I owe him that"._

The girls all exchanged glances, and then agreed. Jubilee of course had blood brandy, but the rest each got a shot of Jegermeister (yuck by the way), but a favorite of Cain's. They drank the toast and then...

They all played a few more rounds of pool, turned out Cain was also a better pool player then Illyana, much to her disgust. Then Cain went his way and they went theirs (off to a little concert being held in a small bar by Steve Tyler (and no there was no way anybody was getting tickets but… Illyana… so nuff said)).

So what had happened with Cain? Well…

 **BEGIN INTERLUDE**

" _ **Where the fuck**_ _am… I… oh… oh shit"!_

Cain was standing on the edge of a small ten foot square stone platform in space looking down upon the face of the sun which filled one hundred and eighty degrees. A roaring blazing inferno. Currently a solar flare was going off, spectacularly going off.

" _Good day Mr. Marko"._ Spoke an English accented voice behind Cain. He spun and confronted a very proper British looking butler like man, apart from his horns, fangs, glowing eyes and a devil tail.

Cain just stared the man/devil, he wasn't quire sure what he was, looked kind of like Nightcrawler except for the limy accent and the fancy suit.

" _My employer wishes to not engage in fisticuffs or other combative activities this night. As such we have been employed to… facilitate this wish"._

" _What's that to me"?_ Was Cain's answer as he sought to come to grips with where he was.

" _My employer feels that simply dumping you into the sun as the two prior villainous attempts this night would be… improper. She instead offers some drink tickets and two football tickets to a game of your choice"._

" _Super Bowl part of that offer"?_ Was Cain's response. He sounded cool, but… getting dumped into the sun was… okay that was very intimidating. Plus the statement about others being dropped into the sun… that gets a guy's attention.

" _Most certainly, and a combination meal beer voucher as well as refreshments are so expensive at such events. And… I have been authorized to offer either end zone seats or fifty yard line seats. Both right on the field"._

" _Or"?_ Cain was pretty sure what the alternative was.

" _Sun… fire… hot plasma… a most unfortunate end to the night. Between you and me I would choose the tickets"._

" _Deal"._

No one ever did know about the other two villains, other then to make the statement.

" _Hey… whatever happened to…"?_

 **END INTERLUDE**

 **Part 6I: Small concert for a hundred or so friends**

Steve Tyler, and a support band ,were playing songs at Whisky Petes. Sold out event. The chance to buy ticks was by invitation only. Just one hundred people, mostly either fans or invites of a fan who had more then one ticket. To be clear, rich fans or those who were willing to pay mega bucks that they didn't have.

Food and alcohol was included with the ticket. Steve would sing for about half an hour. Then go chat with the crowd, then sing a bit more, then talk from the stage about his life, answer some questions, then sing some more.

Why was Illyana and crew able to get in? Well… that little Concierge service mentioned prior. It's a hell lord thing. Although Sorcerer Supremes have been known to make use of it as well.

The girls had a reserved table right by the stage and were enjoying the show. Currently Steve was singing Amazing from the Aerosmith album Get a Grip.

I _kept the right ones out_

 _And let the wrong ones in_

 _Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins_

 _There were times in my life_

 _When I was goin' insane_

 _Tryin' to walk through_

 _The pain_

 _When I lost my grip_

 _And I hit the floor_

 _Yeah,I thought I could leave but couldn't get out the door_

 _I was so sick and tired_

 _Of livin' a lie_

 _I was wishin that I_

 _Would die_

…

…

" _Damn he's good"._ Whispered Dani.

" _I tend to like Aerosmith songs. Angsty"._ Illyana whispered back in reply.

" _And about sex"._ Whispered Jubilee.

" _He is old… but very impassioned"._ Whispered Laura. _"A… good performance"._

…

…

 _That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation_

 _And how high can you fly with broken wings?_

 _Life's a journey not a destination_

 _And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings_

…

…

Jubilee was continuing to imbibe of the blood brandy, the others were currently drinking beer, and a few blood brandy shots, while munching on various appetizers. They'd drunk a toast to Illyana's ability to party (Jubilee was currently wondering just how to arrange a New York Girls Night Out at some later date, man the clubs she could get access to…).

Steve started on his next song. Living on the edge.

 _There's somethin' wrong with the world today_

 _I don't know what it is_

 _Something's wrong with our eyes_

 _We're seein' things in a different way_

 _And God knows it ain't his_

 _It shore ain't no surprise_

 _Livin' on the edge_

 _Livin' on the edge_

 _Livin' on the edge_

 _Livin' on the edge_

 _There's somethin' wrong with the world today_

 _The light bulb's gettin dim_

 _There's meltdown in the sky_

 _If you can judge a wise man_

 _By the color of his skin_

 _Then mister you're a better man than I_

…

…

…

…

 _You can't help yourself at all_

 _Livin' on the edge_

 _You can't help yourself_

 _You can't help yourself_

 _Livin' on the edge_

 _You can't help yourself_

 _You can't help yourself_

 _Livin' on the edge_

 _You can't help yourself from fallin'_

At the end of the song Steve took another break and walked about the room talking with folks.

" _So Laura tells me that you three hang out sometimes"._ Was Jubilee's statement and implied question.

" _Mostly hunting"_ replied Dani. _"All of us like to hunt, but nobody else is really into that. Also Illyana and Laura like to go at it combatively from time to time"._

" _Gross. Can't see myself killing bambi"._ Was Jubilee's response as she made a face.

" _Oh, it's not always just animals"._ Replied Dani.

" _Really? What else do you hunt"?_

Dana replied. _"Sometimes… well… the three of us… um… well we hang out in central park at night looking for trouble. Pretending to be young and dumb and helpless. Just so we lure in some bad folks for a bit of non danger room danger. We then kick their ass and turn them over to the authorities. All hush hush like… just a different form of training really"._

Illyana added some detail. " _Sometimes we get yelled at by New York regular heroes because they don't recognize us, or maybe we're not in the union or something. They tend to think we're just stupid bimbos. Remember Dare Devil"?_

Laura joined in. _"He was rude and insulting"._

Dani laughed. _"Then Illyana dumped him in Limbo for few minutes. My my, how… courteous he was after that"._

" _The spider dudes are nicer"._ Illyana observed. _"Sometimes we all go out to the nearest Starbucks. Spidy has a deal where he gets free drinks for him and his friends due to all those Spider Man Ass mugs they sold, but he has to be in costume and swing by so as to keep out the posers"._

" _I am so not believing any of this"._ Giggled Jubilee.

Laura made an observation. " _The Punisher always smells of his favorite gun oil. I think those with enhanced senses have not told him of this. He is very clean, but we can still tell where he is and when it is him. He was also rude but in a more polite way"._

" _Illyana don't zap him to limbo"._ Observed Dani.

" _Hell, he'd probably kill off half of Limbo"._ Growled Illyana. _"Demons don't grow on trees you know"._

" _Even got a nick name from Dare Devil when he returned from Limbo and got an explanation as to what we were doing. He asked: 'What are you? The X-Men's bad girls?'"._ Finished Dani.

" _Cool… can I join"?_ Asked Jubilee. _"Hunting animals a big turn off but beating up bad guys… well I'm into that now"._

" _Um…". D_ ani looked at Laura and Illyana. Both just gave an ok with me shrug. _"Sure… I guess. We'll let you know the next time"._

" _Cool… so… Illyana… did you really make out with the old dude on that TV car show you did the road trip with"?_

Illyana frowned in annoyance at Jubilee. _"Yes"._

No more details were forthcoming which frustrated Jubilee.

" _Come on! Spill! Give us some details! Can't believe you did the nasty with him"._

Illyana took a long drink from her beer while Dani gave her an inquiring look. Laura looked slightly interested as well.

" _Ok, fine. If it will shut you up. Yea... I did. Didn't mean to but there was this magical incident before the road trip and I had to bleed off a whole bunch of magic. Made me… um… I ended up in the mood and he… was nice. Don't count out older men, they know things and… well… he really knew how to spell the alphabet with his tongue, among other things"._

Jubilee giggled and drained her glass, Laura looked appraising, and Dani smirked.

Illyana replied to their looks. _"Hey… it was a road trip, girl gets to be irresponsible from time to time"._

And… Steve Tyler made an appearance at their table. _"Ladies… I have not had the pleasure of your acquaintance"._

Illyana and Dani shook his hand, well they tried to, instead he kissed their hands which made Dani giggle. As he took Jubilees hand she spoke.

" _So… I hear older men really know… things"._

Steve gave no indication of surprise other then to kiss her hand and murmur. _"We do… I do like to think of my self as the big bad wolf as it were. Always… getting in trouble"._

Jubilee was drunk for the first time since she'd become a vampire. Drunk and… frustrated. She went for the kill. _"So… you haven't had the pleasure… want to"?_

Steve's eyebrows rose. _"Is that a group offer or… solitary"?_

" _Singleton"._ Was Jubilee's reply (She may… just may… have been using her vampire charms).

Steve raised an ironic eyebrow. _"Shocking… I'll huff, and I'll puff, but I will blow your house down missy. Meet me back stage after the next song if you wish for a private… performance"._

With that he returned to stage and sang a final encore. It was the song Flesh.

 _The day rolls in, the night rolls out_

 _Desire rules without a doubt_

 _The heart beats fast, you salivate_

 _And when you_ _come_ _it won't be late_

 _I guess by now you got the score_

 _A little taste you want it more_

 _From San Antonio to Marrakesh_

 _Yeah when the night_ _comes_

 _Every body's gotta have FLESH_

 _You got me all soakin' wet_

 _FLESH - the only thing that's worth the sweat_

 _From the day that Eve did Adam_

 _Down to Romeo and Juliette_

 _Everybody gotta have…_

 _The prince of lust has met his match_

 _The witch has brewed her baddest batch_

 _His sword is sharp and hard as stone_

 _Her cauldron begs for one more bone_

 _And so my love, this story's told_

 _From modern times to days of old_

 _From Boston Mass to Bangladesh_

 _Yeah, when the night_ _comes_

 _Everybody's gotta have FLESH_

 _It's got me all soakin' we_

 _FLESH - the only thing that's worth the sweat, yeah_

 _From the Mississippi River_

 _To the highest mountain in Tibet_

 _Everybody gotta have..._

 _FLESH - you got me all soakin' wet_

 _FLESH - the only thing that's worth the sweat_

 _FLESH - you got me all soakin' wet_

 _FLESH - the only thing, the only thing, the only thing_

 _From a suvie in a Rickshaw to a bimbo in a pink Corvette_

 _Everybody gotta have..._

With that the concert was over.

" _That's it folks! I'm gunna take a little… break… and then rejoin you for more discussions. Eat and drink up! Remember that afterwards we're doing the late nite slow motion parade down Bourbon Street for those who brought their classic or just cool ass cars"!_

Steve turned to go back stage as Jubilee stood up and eagerly followed.

Dani commented as she watched Jubilee and Steve leave. _"She's drunk, should we save her"?_

Illyana shook her head. _"She's not that drunk, and I think Mr. Tyler is more at risk"._

Laura added. _"Before tonight she has been discussing her… frustrations… an unsatisfied itch as it were since becoming a vampire"._

" _Looks like the girl is planning on scratching that itch"._ Laughed Dani.

…

…

Forty five minutes later, the three had continued drinking and eating various nibbles while they waited for Jubilee to return. At one point the discussion had turned to Scott Summers and his brothers, Dani was wondering if they all had the magic dick that Scott appeared to have (women were always chasing after Scott, Alex not so much).

Jubilee had walked up slightly bow legged and somewhat unsteady, and looking… content. Like a cat that had not only eaten the canary, but found a bowl of cream as well.

" _So… range the bell"?_ Asked Dani as Jubilee sat down.

" _Broke the bell"._ Sighed Jubilee. _"I lost count after… after… um… well I lost count"._ She gave forth a rather erotic giggle.

" _That good"?_

" _Yea…"._ More giggles from Jubilee. _"Illyana's right. Some of these old guys know things… tricky tricky things… like… wow. I would have been back sooner but… took a long time to get it all the way in and afterwards I… umm… I kinda got stuck"._

" _Stuck"?_ Inquired Laura.

" _Yea… stuck, as in I think he rearranged my insides. Then… well… all the pulling kind of resulted to another round of oh wow. He made a joke about it, apparently he wrote a song about that kind of problem"._

Jubilee then whispered something to the other three which prompted Dani and Illyana to giggle. Laura maintained her stoic expression as she stated.

" _Men are wont to boast about their genital size. Yet size does not translate to reproductive success so most males are average in length"._

Jubilee almost said something, but instead giggled.

Dani suddenly remembered what Jubilee was. " _Ummm…. he's still alive right"?_

Illyana quipped. _"I don't know… he always looks kind of… undead"._

Jubilee tried to scowl at the undead comment, but ended up just giggling yet again. _"Yea… not very mobile but… yea"._

" _You are blissed out"._ Observed Laura.

" _Yea…"._ Groaned Jubilee. _"About time… been awhile. I think… I think I'm missing a whole bunch of brain cells"._

" _Oh no…"._ Whispered Dani in mock horror. _"Jubilee's been fucked silly"._

" _Yea…"._ Purred Jubilee.

Steve rejoined the party a few minutes later. He looked a bit… unsteady as well… but happy.

Oh, and that parade that Steve spoke of? Well that's how they ended up driving at less then one mile per hour down Bourbon street in a classic car parade. Steve was riding in a truck behind them.

 **Part 6J: Bourbon Street**

It was late, but the streets were still filled with people. The classic car progression slowly made it's way down the street, with the cars frequently stopping as folks took photos or selfies with various cars and people.

Illyana was driving, Laura and Jubilee were sitting on the trunk facing forward, and Dani was standing in the front seat footwall and dancing (she was tweaked).

Steve's truck had a massive stereo system and he had a mike plugged into it and singing as he stood in the back of a luxury low rider truck bed. He was currently singing Shut up and Dance (and the milling throngs was doing just that).

 _Talk is cheap, shut up and dance_

 _Don't get deep, shut up and dance_

 _Love has got me down_

 _The weight is all around_

 _So you lend a hand to peace on earth_

 _Here's my piece, now what's it worth_

 _Yea, but it's all right_

 _When you can't define the crime_

 _Then life ain't worth a dime_

 _When they take away everything you got_

 _And they rub your nose in the funky spot_

 _Not without a fight_

 _When you work your fingers to the bone_

 _And what does that get you—NOTHING_

 _If in a crowd of people_

 _You're still alone_

 _I hope that tells you something_

 _The road to heaven is paved in hell_

 _And it makes you wonder_

 _Why you're here at all_

 _Check out the shape of your circumstance_

 _He wears the dress and she wears the pants_

 _Here comes Jill and she needs romance_

 _But you can't do jack so shut up and dance!_

 _Sex is like a gun_

 _You aim, you shoot, you run_

 _When you're splittin hairs with Mr. Clean_

 _It' like gettin head from a guillotine_

 _And the night has just begun_

The night had been great fun! But many of the milling about women kept flashing their breasts which prompted Steve to throw a string of beads as he sang. Plus many of the women on the balconies that overlooked the street were also flashing which of course resulted in strings of beads being thrown to them from the crowd.

All that bare boobage apparently invoked feeling of envy in the drunken Jubilee.

" _Everybody has bigger boobs them me"._ Lamented Jubilee. _**"Everybody"!**_

" _There are scads of women with smaller breasts then you Jubilee"._ Corrected Dina as she continued to dance.

" _None who are X-Women"._ Countered the drunken Jubilee. _"None! Everybody has median to big to ginormous boobs! Where as I only have… Cupcakes, bee stings, molehills, mosquito bites, nips, I've even been called the honorary chairwoman of the itty bitty titty committee. Damn it, I'm a training bra flunkout. All the Japanese anima girls always have huuuuggggggeeeee Winnebagos and that's so not reality if you're Asian. But not Psyocke… no… not her! She and her massive rack that she just so has to flaunt; and her big o'll bootie as well. Bitch could feed an entire orphanage with those milk bags"._

She continued after first taking a long pull on the latest open bottle of Blood wine.

" _There was this one time… I was in the woman's changing room with Psyocke after a danger room session… I was standing next to her… she was topless by the way… and she quickly turned to say something to me but her big o'll boobies briefly stayed put… inertia or something from all that mass… well it was like her titites were on springs and this giant breast comes of right field and just smacks me in the face! A tittie smackdown of all things! I swear the impact threw me across the room and into a locker! Even left a breast shaped bruise on my face with the imprint of a nipple. And she was cold so I almost lost an eye as well; bet she uses those nipples as some kind of secret ninja weapon, like… like… pointy darts"!_

Laura was mildly amused by this emotional outburst while Illyana and Dani were rather flummoxed into brief silence.

Jubilee turned to Laura. _"It's like… like… like there's some secret X-Woman potion that gives a big chest but somebody's blackballed me from finding out about it! X, are you happy with your breasts"?_

Laura replied after first snagging the bottle from Jubilee who obviously had enough to drink for now, but first Laura drained the bottle before replying (Laura was drunk as well, turns out her mutant metabolism was not able to handle blood booze very well) _._

" _I am content with my size. I am small in stature and they are appropriate for my physique"._

" _Still leaves you a C cup"!_ Complained Jubilee. " _I'm barely a B and even then it's a B minus"!_

" _Big breasts have their own issues"._ Countered Dani. " _Heck when it's hot it's like having extra armpits"._

" _So says the well equipped girl. I call bullshit! Almost everybody goes for breast enlargement, not reduction. Would you be willing to trade with me"?_

Dani shook her head and looked horrified at the very thought. _"And have just those tennis balls on my chest? No way"._ And that's why drinking can lead to fights. Sometimes the mouth just says things before the brain has a chance to filter and edit.

Jubilee gave a fangy hiss at Dani while Illyana giggled (she was rather toasty herself). This prompted Jubilee to declare.

" _Don't you laugh now, miss oh no I've regressed into my Darkchilde aspect, my big boobied hot as hell and wearing almost nothing Darkchilde aspect. Don't think that everybody doesn't notice you grow a cup size or more when you flash that female demon side of yours"!_

" _If I must appear as a demon then I prefer to be hot"._ Replied Illyana. _"Plus they showed me where the potion is"._ Which earned her a dirty look from Jubilee.

Laura tried to calm Jubilee down, and change the subject. _"I find it advantageous being slender and being smaller in stature. I am frequently underestimated to the detriment of my foes"._

Illyana helped. _"Gal I know always felt that way. Heck she's even shorter then you are Jubilee"._

" _Who's that"?_ Asked Dani as she froze her posture to allow photo from the crowd.

" _A zombie raising vampire slayer by the name of Anita Blake"._ Replied Illyana without thinking (Illyana was a bit in her cups as well).

" _Already don't like her"._ Slurred Jubilee. _"You lost me at vampire slayer"._

" _Oh… um… yea… I can see that. If it helps she's sleeping with…"._ Illyana gave up counter after using two hands twice. _"Over ten vampires, and I think a dozen or so weres"._

" _The vampire slayer is sleeping with vampires"?_ Asked an incredulous Dani.

" _Yea… long story. Girl gets around, she's a living sexual vampire so she needs to feed"._

" _Does she have big tits"?_ Asked a suspicious Jubilee.

" _Ahhh… yea. Not huge but… very… nice. Very… nice. They look a bit bigger then they are because she favors a pushup bra to keep the twins up and out of the way for her to do a faster gun draw"._

Jubilee returned to the prior topic. _"Knew it! Everybody has bigger breasts then me"!_

And that's when Jubilee whipped off her top and waved her breasts to everybody on Bourbon street while shouting. _ **"Nobody wants to look at my boobies"!**_

Which turned out to so not true as a she then began to accumulate bead necklaces that were thrown at her from the surprised, and pleased, crowd members (mostly male).

Steve saw the display and tossed a necklace to Dani to give to Jubilee.

And then it kind of got out of hand.

 **Part 6k: Boobage!**

" _You are being silly"._ Observed a drunken Laura.

" _I'm flaunting it even though I don't got it"!_ Shrieked a giggling Jubilee as she waved her breasts at the crowd. _"Give it a try X! Look at all the cool beads"!_

Laura found the whole situation to be irrational, but… the beads did look appealing for some reason and it's not like Laura had much in the way of body modesty, and she was massively drunk.

Laura said nothing as she too stripped off her top and waved the goodies at the crowd. Which erupted in more cheering and more bead necklaces being thrown.

Dani sat back down in her seat and turned to Illyana. _"This is the first time, I think, that I've ever seen you appalled, or is that mortification"?_ Stated Dani with a smile and a laugh. " _Either way, a definite first"._

Illyana had her head down on the steering wheel and yes it was mortification. Dani reached underneath her car seat and produced… yet another bottle of booze of which she took a long series of swallows.

Then Dani stood up. _"Here's how you do it girls"!_ She shouted as she also whipped off her top.

The parade made slow progress. And at some point Illyana was heard to mumble. _"I suppose when in Rome…"._

The party lasted for another hour or two.

 **Part 6L: The day after (1pm the following day)**

Dani was sprawled at the kitchen table. Ice bag on hear head, four aspirin in her stomach, and a half empty glass of raw eggs with Worcestershire source in her hand.

" _Oh God my head hurts"._ She whispered. Loud complaints made it hurt worse. _"I thought you said the blood booze didn't have any bad affects"._

" _Well they didn't for me"._ Replied a chipper and sunny Illyana who was wearing a few strings of beads. She hadn't bothered to let folks know about her hangover magic.

Jubilee was sprawled out on a couch (yea the X folks have couches in their kitchen, they are mostly teens after all). She faintly hissed a complaint _"Stop talking so loud. And your hearts are beating way to loudly as well, and so is your breathing"._

" _God I can't remember a thing after we started… OMG… waving our breasts about"._ Moaned Dani. _"Total blackout"._

" _I cannot recall as well"._ Moaned back Laura. _"My head feels like a wrecked car and my mouth tastes like spoiled blood"._

" _I think a rat died in me"_ replied Dani.

" _Stop talking"._ Whispered Jubilee. _"Just… please… stop"._

At that moment Bobby had his revenge as he brought in Shogo who had just filled his diaper with a massively smelly load.

" _ **Jubilee"!**_ He announced (loudly, kind of like a sonic boom to those with a hangover). _**"Shogo needs a changing"!**_

Laura, Jubilee, and Dani ended up retching their guts out (it was the smell that did it). In-between vomiting bouts they promised Bobby a painful and prolonged death.

Meanwhile, Illyana declared them all to be pussies as she took Shogo to the bathroom to change (Hell Lords know how to deal with dirty diapers. I mean… Hell Lords are always dealing with shit).

A giggling Bobby ended up escaping his fate as they were too hung over to chase him down.

Afterwards…

" _Damn… there's something I'm forgetting"._ Complained Jubilee (she was currently lying down on the cool kitchen floor. " _Something… important"._

Then, a confused looking Hank walked into the kitchen wearing a bathrobe _._

" _Ummm… Guys? Why is a naked Steve Tyler passed out on one of the living room living couches"?_

All four girls exchanged glances.

Jubilee answered for the group. _"Oh… yea. Umm… that's what I forgot about"._

 **Part 6M: Epilog**

Dani and Illyana were in search of Steve Tyler. Apparently last night, Jubilee had convinced them to bring Steve back to the X Lair. Steve had awoken and been quite ok with the little abduction, apparently Jubilee had gone for another round of Steve after Dani, Laura, and Illyana had passed out in the kitchen upon their return. The then worn out Steve had found a comfy couch and crashed.

Everybody had had a late breakfast, Illyana had gotten that breakfast to go that she sometimes would get from New Orleans, and Steve had then gone off of freshen up.

" _He said he wanted a shower"._ Stated Dani as they were walking down a corridor. _"But he's not in the Men's shower room"._

Then… they found Steve. Well… kind of found Steve. They were now by the Woman's shower room and they heard… Jubilee. Heard her cries of passion and the sudden blaring of a radio playing a song.

Jubilee was wailing in passion. _"Oh God! Oh God! I can't stop! I can't stop Cumming"!_

 _I think we've found where Steve is"._ Said a blushing Dani as she began to back down the hallway away from the sounds of vigorous sexual congress.

" _And Jubilee"._ Replied an equally blushing Illyana as she joined Dani in a hasty retreat.

It was another hour and a half before Steve was ready to leave.

Oh... and what was the song? It was Aerosmith's Stuck on my big ten inch. Sung by Steve Tyler of course.

 _got me the strangest woman_

 _believe me this trick's no cinch_

 _but I really get her going_

 _when I whip out my big 10 inch_

 _record of a band that plays the blues_

 _well a band that plays its blues_

 _she just love my big 10 inch_

 _record of her favorite blues_

 _last night I tried to tease her_

 _I gave my love a little pinch_

 _she said now stop that jivin'_

 _now whip out your big 10 inch_

 _record of a band that plays those blues_

 _well a band that plays the blues_

 _she just loves my big 10 inch_

 _record of her favorite blues_

 _I, I, I cover her with kisses_

 _and when we're in a lover's clinch_

 _she gets all excited_

 _when she begs for my big 10 inch_

 _record of a band that plays those blues_

 _well a band that plays the blues_

 _she just love my big 10 inch_

 _record of her favorite blues_

 _my girl don't go for smokin'_

 _and liquor just make her flinch_

 _seems she don't go for nothin'_

 _'cept for my big 10 inch_

 _record of a band that plays the blues_

 _band that play the blues_

 _she just love my big 10 inch_

 _record of her favorite blues_


End file.
